Beige Space

The Chapel is Some Trees

2009-08-10T21:30:00.002-04:00

And that's how it should be. I managed to get a hold of some photos from my wedding, and I present them now to you, completely out of order and with very little context:

I got Married!

It was a double ceremony. I married Jessica, and Carrie married Jessica. Stephen presided. Liv was our Ringbearer, Liesl the Flower Child. It was beautiful, as you can see.

I miss my dear wife, who lives very far away in Florida, and is going to the far away Pacific Northwest (for the best job ever) come October. But I am glad we shared the time we did, in that park in Pennsylvania, declaring our love to the world. One day we shall be reunited.

On Happiness

2009-08-05T21:01:00.002-04:00

It's rare that I read or hear something and think immediately "I disagree completely with your entire premise." This column, however, did that to me, and reminded me of this talk at Hampshire a few months ago, when some guy was saying that we should all be secular humanists because it is impossible to understand God and no religion has given us a good way to get close to him.

"We do each have a handful of those moments, the ones we only take out to treasure rarely, like jewels, when we looked up from our lives and realized: “I’m happy.” One of the last times this happened to me, inexplicably, I was driving on Maryland’s unsublime Route 40 with the window down, looking at a peeling Burger King billboard while Van Halen played on the radio. But this kind of intense and present happiness is heartbreakingly ephemeral; as soon as you notice it you dispel it, like blocking yourself from remembering a word by trying too hard to retrieve it. And our attempts to contrive this feeling through any kind of replicable method — with drinking or drugs or sexual seduction, buying new stuff, listening to the same old songs that reliably give us shivers — never quite recapture the spontaneous, profligate joy of the real thing. In other words be advised that Burger King billboards and Van Halen are not a sure-fire combination, any more than are scotch and cigars."

The talk at Hampshire (it was Dr. Philip Kitcher and you can watch it here if you really want) had an almost identical point somewhere in there- Kitcher made some literary reference about how some kid found God and felt all at one with the universe but then a few days later the feeling passed and his life sucked again. Kitcher used this to prove that these moments happen to us randomly and there's nothing we can do to make them more likely so we might as well give up and feel happy when they show up.

I disagree. I can't possibly agree because everything I've ever experienced tells me otherwise. I've felt deep incredible joy, and union with the very fabric of our being, and however else we wnat to try to describe that indescribable point- we all know it, and there are no words. Furthermore, those moments aren't random. I can make myself more open to them. I can attract them. There is a divine force that I am fully capable of tapping into, and while I don't get to that place every single day because sometimes life is really hard or I'm tired or I just get distracted, I'm getting a little better at getting there every time I try.

And it's not just prayer and meditation and the things conventional religion tells you to like. I've felt really and truly joyful and happy dancing, whether at a wedding or late at night in the Barn or in the middle of my room- that moment when my body and the music get exactly in synch and nothing else matters any more and I'm satisfied. Or that moment when I'm sitting around with my friends and we're laughing, just laughing. Or riding my bike and there aren't any cars on the road and I'm just watching the white line in front of me, going so fast and so easy.

The way Kreider writes about noticing happiness sounds exactly like meditation to me. You have to reach this point where there's no thought, and then when you notice the lack of thought, you're thinking again, and you have to start over. But you can get better at it. Monks have come up with all sorts of ways to help you, and I can't help but wonder if all these guys who say we can't get any closer than random blessed moments have just never met a monk. I've never met a currently practicing monk, either, but I read about them a lot, and I've met their students, and I'm pretty sure people are completely capable of learning to recognize our own fullness and our own happiness and the way we are all part of the divine.

It makes me sad when people don't know that.

She Walks Slowly

2009-07-27T13:47:00.001-04:00

Hi there! Remember me? I am doing awesome things, but I don't want to talk about them. I just want to point you at some pictures of me and my sexy friends. Here you go!

YALD

The Twin

2009-05-05T23:15:00.002-04:00

This is a fragment of a poem from the Cologne Mani Codex, and I think it is the best.

. . . reverently . . .
and I acquired him as my own possession.
I believed
that he belongs to me and is mine
and is a good and excellent counselor.
I recognized him
and understood that I am that one
from whom I was separated.
I testified
that I myself am that one
who is unshakable. . . .

In other news, there are pictures from DC and from dying eggs up at Picasa. I am writing finals. One day I will label and caption those lovely pictures, but today is not that day.

Down in the Flood

2009-03-31T12:15:00.002-04:00

I've been deciding recently (along with everyone else, really) that every religion is just a slightly different cultural expression of the same basic truths. And I've been reading various Hindu texts recently, too, and now I have a nice little comparison chart that basically says that Hinduism and the Near Eastern Monotheisms (Judaism, Christianity, Islam) follow the same developmental cycle. It goes azoy:

Way back when, you have a group of people who worship some sort of god(s) who really like(s) sacrifices. This is the Vedic period of Hinduism, and it's ancient Judaism, along with all the other ancient religions of the Near East and even Greek and Roman religions. Judaism seems all special due to the whole monotheism thing, but Paula Fredrikson argues that everyone, even the Jews, was really henotheistic back then (basically only worshipping one main God, but believing in all these other lesser gods- the Jews called them demons, but they were exactly the same as the gods of their neighbors), which is exactly what a lot of Vedic tradition is- one hymn is dedicated to Agni, another to Surya, etc, and each one claims that it's chosen god is the supreme being. And it's not really that every Hindu believes that every god is supreme at some point, but more that various groups of brahmins focus on the sacrificial rites for various gods- not so different from the ancient polytheisms of the Near East and Mediterranean, eh? In Hinduism the years on this are about 2000-1100 BCE. For what I'm going to call the "Western religions," these things are definitely happening around then, but it really continues in that vein until at least 200 BCE and probably more until like 200 or 300 CE. (Hinduism remains about 400 or 500 years ahead of the Western religions for the rest of this development.)

So then, around 800 BCE, a bunch of charismatic Hindu sages (some brahmins, i.e. the traditional priests, but some not) start moving away from the cities and into the forest and starting ashrams, or communities of disciples, where they start teaching a more esoteric/mystical version of Vedic philosophy. Some of these ashrams get really radical and start totally new religions (Buddhism is the most prominent of these), but many of them continue to affirm the Vedic tradition, they just reinterpret it. These people compose the Upanishads, which speak about an ability to develop a more direct relationship with the divine, regardless of one's caste (or gender). Many of these sages are ascetics, and this is the time that various yoga practices become central.
Now, in the Near East, around the first century BCE or so, and continuing until the sixth century CE, all sorts of people, some traditional priests, but many not, start becoming charismatic leaders and reinterpreting their religious traditions. The ones you've probably heard of include people like Plato and Jesus, who of course got all sorts of disciples and each ended up founding new religions based on radical new interpretations of their respective traditions. And their followers started moving into the desert and getting disciples of their own and practicing ascetic lifestyles and renouncing the world to achieve spiritual fulfillment.
So now we have two or three religious traditions moving from sacrifical practice done by a special priestly class to a mystical vision of the world where ascetic practice allows any person (although only those who can renounce the world) to experience the divine.

And then, between 200 BCE and 200 CE, people in India start to rethink their religions. Two giant epic poems get written that reflect these new modes of thought. One of them, the Mahabharata, includes a section known as the Bhagavad-Gita, which explains a radical new way of experiencing Hinduism. In it, Krishna, an avatar of the god Vishnu, has a long conversation about the nature of life and the universe and everything with a man named Arjuna. Krishna explains various ways of connecting with the divine, but it ultimately boils down to the idea that anyone who loves God can connect with him.
In the Near East, in the sixth century CE, a man named Muhammad starts talking to an avatar of his God named Gabriel. Gabriel tells Muhammad all sorts of things about the nature of life and the universe, and presents a new interpretation of the religion Jews and Christians have been practicing for a while. This version focuses on things that every person can do within the confines of daily life to become beloved of God. (This is where I need to say that this is in fact different from Christianity- although modern Christian practice is very incorporated into daily life, this is only due to necessity. Jesus is always saying "leave everything and follow me." Early Christians were super anti-marriage and really into monasticism, both of which are really hard for ordinary people to conform to. Islam never wanted people to sell everything and give it to the poor, and it always affirmed things like marriage and having a job. Just as Judaism now has nothing to do with sacrifices, I am looking only at the early manifestations of each of these traditions.)

What does all this mean? Hell if I know. India and the Near East aren't that far from each other, and there is definitely documentation of Hindu Upanishadic practice influencing Near Eastern ascetics. Maybe this is just a natural progression of religions that want to be more relevant to more people over time (so they have to open up). Judaism made the same accomodations within itself that gave rise to Christianity and Islam. Hinduism is different because people who follow the Gita still affirm the entire Vedic tradition- there's more unity and fewer splinter groups. But you have things like Buddhism, which did splinter completely from Vedic Hinduism. One thing that I think I can pull from this is a theory of where other shamanic traditions that ultimately fell by the wayside may have moved- tribal religions of Africa, South America and Europe are very similar to early Vedic Hindusim. The word for an Upanishadic sage is the same Indo-European root as the English word "shaman" ("shramana"). (Indo-European, by the way, is the super-ancient language spoken by the ancestors of pretty much everyone who lives in Europe and India these days- all European languages except Hungarian, Finnish and Basque and pretty much all of the languages of India are related to each other.) Monotheism isn't a given, but people seem to prefer focusing on one god to dealing with a whole lot of them.

The obvious question that comes out of this is- what's the next step? It's been 1200 years since Islam began, and 1800 since the Gita became popular. Religion has changed in that time, but not nearly as much. I'd argue that what we call the Enlightenment and the rise of "secularism" is actually that new religion- scientists are a sort of priest, now. What that means, ultimately, I don't know.

Epiphany

2009-02-28T06:19:00.001-05:00

I got up early to eat something before sunrise and then go back to bed, and then I had a sudden revelation about what I might want my Div III to be. (Even when it hits me like this early in the morning, I'm afraid to commit to it.) So I'm writing it down so that I don't forget once I go back to sleep! And I'm writing it down publicly for feedback or dialogue or something!

Alright. So. I think, if I were to start my Div III tomorrow (or I guess even this morning when I get up for real) I would want to do it on Christian law. Obvs there's not a Christian version of halakha or sharia, but the RCC definitely has law and dogma, and most mainline protestant denominations at least take stances on controversial issues, so there's plenty to work with. I want to look at the ways that law has developed, and the ways it's interacted with Biblical interpretation, especially in the works of Paul. I'd want to see developments across time in areas like slavery, alcohol/temperance, women's rights, homosexuality, etc. I don't know yet if I'd focus on certain denominations or certain issues or what, 'cause this is kind of huge right now. But I know I want to work with Paul and Biblical scholarship/interpretation, and church law.

And those aren't things I knew 6 hours ago.

2009-02-27T22:03:00.004-05:00

I've been spending tonight finally starting to pull my thoughts together to apply for these two super-sweet summer programs that I found. What's that, you say? I didn't post about them already? Well fortunately for you there are some websites you can look at if you're that into the minutiae of my life and you aren't my mom (who got these links weeks ago).
Center for Student Missions City Host
Pendle Hill Young Adult Leadership and Development Program
They're basically two programs that will give me a place to live and some food and also pay me (!!) to spend the summer talking about how I love Jesus a whole bunch (I do) and also doing some sweet community service work. But I have to apply! And that means that I have to write personal essays about my faith and my past service and all sorts of things! And I've never done that before! So that's where this blog entry comes in. If you are so inclined, I'd love to have some people read through some drafts of these statements and give me some feedback. What makes sense, what does not sound like something I should tell someone I want to give me money, what is lovely and touching and should be expanded on. I spend a lot of time thinking and writing about these sorts of things, but that doesn't mean I've figured out a very good way to do it.

Which means that I am going to have like 40 drafts of this thing. I'm working on one right now that just sort of follows my spiritual journey chronologically and that I may break down into themes and reorganize at some point. I'm not going to post it here because it will just take up so much space (it is almost 5 single-spaced pages, so I need to cut out about half of it), but I'll happily e-mail it to you. Just leave me a comment or shoot me an e-mail (as always oneseventy at gmail dot com) and I'll give you a copy.

Evening

2009-02-09T23:01:00.002-05:00

I really like riding the bus at night-time. I start out in the early evening, around 7. The bus is fuller then. Invariably I sit towards the back. There's not much but black outside. We ride under a streetlight, it only illuminates the dirt on the window. When I do catch sight of a sign or a building, it seems foreign, and there's a moment of terror before I remember where I am. The world collapses down to just the bus, me and the people on it. They're never only college students, always some local transients mixed in. People do homework, sleep, talk, laugh. I turn my iPod up and listen to something slow and sad. Most people get off the bus before me, and then I go to class.

After class, it's much later. 9:30. Tonight I walked all the way through Northampton because it was nice out and I needed the walk. I got on the bus on the other side of town, by Sheldon Field. It was fuller than I expected, and I sat towards the front. At the front of the bus, you can see the outside world because of the headlights. I'd walked for half an hour; I was in touch with that world. Snow covered fields, barns, houses. Everything is familiar and beautiful. I thank the driver when I get off, walk home across the ice.

A New Semester!

2009-01-25T20:47:00.002-05:00

I fixed my Div II, and, hopefully, by the end of the week, I will have a shiny new committee and contract to go with it! I am taking some classes, too!

This is the plan. Things might even go according to plan this time, for the first time ever. But I make no promises.

Monday:
8:30-10 am Yoga
12:30-1:50 pm Holy Wo/Man at Amherst College
7:30-9:30 pm Islamic Thought at Smith College (which, by the way, means I won't be home until 10:35 eww)
Tuesday:
10:30-11:50 am Text, Canon and Tradition at Hampshire College
1:00-2:50 pm Family, Sexuality and Judaism at UMass
Wednesday:
12:30-1:50 pm Holy Wo/Man
3:30-6:00 pm Bicycle Maintenance
Thursday:
Just like Tuesday
Friday:
Nothing!!

Now there is a possibility that I am taking a Mon/Wed/Fri morning religion class at either Amherst or UMass instead of that Tues/Thurs morning one at Hampshire. But the guy I want to be on my committee teaches the Hampshire one, so that makes more sense. He teaches another one that conflicts with Bike Maintenance, so I'm trying to avoid that. I wanna learn how to take care of my Gala.

I am affirming that school is good.

Reach Up

2009-01-19T18:42:00.002-05:00

I just read this, and it resonated in a whole lot of ways, and I want to put it out there as something that I'm working through right now.

From "Overcoming The Fear of Letting People Know That I am Now and for the Most Part Always Have Been Totally Devoted to God Just Like You Are- Even Though We May Not Think So From Time to Time or It May Not Look It To The Neighbors
or
How To Get Out of Your Head By Saying What You Really Mean"

I used to be a very evasive talker. If I didn't have the answers, I could think them up on the spot-and thus I knew it all. I used to hide a lot behind my answers. But, when I tried repeatedly to write this article I could really see there would be no more hiding, there would perhaps be no more need for hiding. It's not that I don't care what people think . . . and feel . . . it's just that I have found out at last that I care about what I think and feel . . . and want to express. And I have found after intensive searching that there is really only one thing I want to say.
I just want to say that I am totally grateful to God that he has led me to these people . . . and that I am totally thankful to Him for everything I have experienced in my life.
And to each of you I would like to say-I love you. Thank you so much for being alive.
I hope this message makes some sense because before-and it seems an eternity ago now-nothing did. God bless you.
At last I am speechless.

That's Bill Chappelle. Like him, I have nothing more to say.

Deck the Haaaaaalls!

2008-12-10T15:42:00.003-05:00

Oh man are we festive here at Mod 22. Because the Dollar Store by the Touch and Take recently got all renovated and fancy, and Katie and Dillon and I got all excited and bought decorations. Take a look:

Katie and I have stockings! Someone better put some presents in them before we leave. Also Rachel sent us Christmas cards! No one else did- shame on all of you.

This looks nicer at night, I promise.

Even our Quasar got into the spirit! We had a lot of these little bows, so I put them all over the place. At the top, you see the one that hangs above our Shoupie on the electrical box. The Shoupie is not pictured.

And this is the beautiful wreath that I made. And also Katie. I am very proud of the wreath. Also of Katie (she finished her paper!).

Wingapelection!!

2008-11-08T14:53:00.002-05:00

(Wingap)Election

So you know how there was an Election this week? Yea it was awesome. Hampshire was really into it, of course, and here are some photos to prove this point! How it went down:
-A whole lot of us got together because Bera said "hey guys we can order some Aircraft Carriers from Wings and it will be so awesome!" and we all said "Yes Bera you are a genius!" So then some 40 people or so showed up and threw money at Bera and Dillon and they made lots of wings appear. And then we all sat ourselves near a TV and pointed it at CNN and watched their crazy holograms and whatnot and ate so much chicken and cheered for blue and booed at red.
-After a few hours of this, we split up into smaller, alcohol-consuming groups scattered through various mods.
-Shortly thereafter, the magical 270 happened! We all ran outside to scream and dance and play music and generally be happy.
-This continued into the wee hours of the morning. I went to bed for class the next morning well before most people (grr Smith).

Burning Down the House

2008-11-04T12:28:00.002-05:00

Tired of the election? Don't want to study for a mid-term on Polish history? Me too! Let's look at pictures from last Friday and pretend we have no responsibilities!

Hallowe'en 08

Living in America

2008-11-01T23:57:00.001-04:00

More pictures of my fabulous life!

These are not Hallowe'en- in order to make things easy, I am waiting a little while for more Hallowe'en pictures to get uploaded to the Book of Faces, then I'll share. These are pictures of the crazy things we get up to in our perfectly ordinary daily life.

Utterly Non-Required, Not Even Suggested Reading

2008-10-29T11:43:00.004-04:00

Oh man an update! Mostly about things you don't care about, i.e. what I thought about on the bus this morning. Deal!

First off, there was a guy with the New York Times, and I happened to notice that the front page had a picture of one Barack Obama and one John McCain. Not exactly a surprise, given Current Events, but I was fascinated by the fact that each man was in profile, and each was facing a different direction. Obama (the top picture, perhaps incidentally) faced the right, and McCain the left. This might be random, but I'm sure the NYT had plenty of images of the candidates from which to choose, and I find this particular juxtaposition fascinating, because of something Art Spiegelman explained in his lecture Friday (I saw Art Spiegelman Friday, if you didn't notice in Twitter- he talked about comics, of course, and his development as a comic-making man, and it was fascinating and amazing and made me want to buy his new book, which is the purpose of a book tour anyway), about the visual vocabulary we're used to. He had a strip from Nancy up as a quintessential comic strip, and pointed out that we could tell Nancy was going into a store in one panel because she was walking to the right, and leaving the store in the next because she was walking to the left. This works because we read from left to right, so anything that goes opposite that direction is "backwards" or "inward-turning" and anything that follows that eyeline is "forwards" or "outward, away-turning." So, in our Obama/McCain images, we have one man facing backwards and one forwards. One towards the past and one towards the future? Ironically, McCain has often tried to distance himself from the past, especially the most recent past and the Bush years. In any case, there is your moment of "The New York Times has crazy liberal bias all over the place" for the day. Please do vote. If you aren't sure who to pick, you haven't been paying attention, but, if it helps you, I voted for Obama and I'd recommend it- it was a nice experience, bubbling in the circle next to his name on my absentee ballot. I'd do it again, but that's illegal.

I actually don't care that much about photos in the New York Times, and I care a lot about representations of minorities, masculinity, and sexual transgression in literature. I've been having Hampshire College Third Year Concentration Ennui for the past two months or so, just like all my friends, and I got super lucky and broke through it on the bus this morning. I'm very excited- I was so ready to quit school and had no idea what to do with myself, and now I'm excited about Things again, and so ready to completely rework my Div II just like every Hampshire student does. Carmen, of all things, is what finally got me excited again... we're reading it in Don Juan class right now, and I've been whining because I didn't see how it was all the relevant- just 'cause she refuses to settle down with one person doesn't mean she's at all like Don Juan, who prefers to have sex with every woman he sees, whether she wants to or not. But we had a great discussion about the similarities and differences between Carmen and Don Juan in class today, and I'm beginning to form ideas for my final paper about Dorian Gray (who actually bears more resemblance to Carmen than to Don Juan, but is definitely in the same tradition) and I actually care about something for the first time this semester. It goes like this:
All 3 are similar, first off, because of their sexual transgressions. It's the most salient fact about each character- Don Juan is defined in the popular imagination by his seduction of women, and by their sheer number. Carmen is likewise a lover above all else, and Dorian Gray is a breaker of many sexual taboos, among his other sins. The three also follow the same basic plot/character arc: a series of seductions and crimes against society are committed, a spurned lover (or more than one) vows vengeance, vengeance is enacted and the hero (anti-hero?) dies. The actual act of vengeance varies greatly between the three characters, but I'll get to that. All three characters are tricksters and liars of a sort- Don Juan is the most straightforward- he loves tricking people, and that is his main motivation, particularly in earlier incarnations. Carmen likewise uses trickery and charm to get what she wants, although she refuses to lie, and does use tricks to achieve her romantic aims. Dorian Gray is the least inclined to trickery, but it could be argued that the portrait is an elaborate trick on society- it is the ultimate act of pretending to be what one is not, and the perfect disguise for his life of debauchery. Just as Don Juan pretends to be interested in only one woman at a time, usually promising to marry his current fancy, Dorian Gray can pretend to be innocent and pure because of his beautiful, eternally youthful appearance. Carmen uses her beauty and charm for criminal purposes- she helps smugglers, and she spins fantastic stories to Don Jose to escape when he has arrested her. The use of charming words is essential to the Don Juan myth, and Carmen employs it, although she extends it to music- frequently she sings wordless melodies that are just as charming. I need to look closer at Dorian Gray to decide how well he uses charming words- he may be a more visual incarnation, and the charming speech may have been entirely passed to Lord Henry (who is a stand-in for Wilde himself, known to be a very charming speaker in his real-life Don Juanesque exploits). All three characters live for pleasure, pursuing it in complete liberty until they are punished for these pursuits. They are unapologetic in this pursuit- Don Juan refuses to repent, even when offered the choice to save his own life (or afterlife), Carmen refuses to back down from her commitment to personal liberty even in the face of arrest or death. Dorian Gray, who actually commits suicide, comes the closest to repenting, however, I might be able to argue that the portrait is actually the Don Juan of the story and Dorian Gray, person, is a victim of the portrait's libertine ways- the portrait, of course, remaining beautiful (unrepentant?) after Dorian's death.

The differences between the three are far more fascinating, as such things usually are. One of the first things I notice is that Don Juan is a very violent person- if a woman won't come willingly to him, he'll rape her with no second thoughts. Carmen never uses violence to get her men- this could be because of the gender difference between the two (women are apparently less violent?) but I'd rather see it as a fundamental character difference. Dorian Gray lies somewhere between the two- I'd have to actually read the book again with an eye towards sexual violence- he's hardly as pure as Carmen, but I'm not sure if he's quite as flippantly unconcerned as Don Juan. In class, we discussed the fact that Carmen seems to enjoy manipulating men much more than Don Juan takes pleasure in manipulating women- if women become jealous, Don Juan barely notices, but Carmen quite conciously makes men fight over her and uses their feelings of possessiveness to further her own goals. Much of this can be explained because, in spite of her apparent freedom, Carmen remains the property of the men she loves- Don Juan belongs to no one, and thus need not concern himself with their feelings. Once again, Dorian Gray is somewhere in the middle- he isn't all that inclined to manipulating others, but he isn't exactly a free man, either. His relationship with the portrait may be important here as well.
The act of vengeance or punishment is the key difference in the three, emphasizing all the other, smaller differences. Don Juan is punished by God, in the form of a statue of a man he killed. Don Juan's deeds have offended heaven, and heaven metes out justice before Don Juan's earthly accusers can punish him. Carmen, however, lives in a world essentially without God- she is an atheist (as was Bizet, creator of the opera), although she does believe in Fate. She is killed by Don Jose, one of her spurned lovers- an act she saw in the cards before it happened, and so considers fated. In some ways, this makes her more human than Don Juan- he needs the fury of heaven to be brought down, while a simple man can take Carmen. It also emphasizes that Carmen is not sinning- she sees nothing wrong with her acts, and her society (the gypsies and smugglers) even appears to support her, although they are unable or unwilling to protect her from Don Jose's wrath. In this way, Don Juan is an individual against the world, and Carmen is a story of two societies (Carmen's gypsy life and Jose's traditional Christian Spain) in conflict. Dorian Gray depends less on God than Don Juan's story, but Dorian Gray is most definitely a sinner, even in his society. Dorian Gray, however, is his own judge- he is the only one who knows the extent of his depravity (visible in the portrait), and ultimately punishes himself. Does this mean Dorian Gray is his own God? Is the portrait his God? What, exactly, is Dorian Gray's relationship to society? Does it even matter?

So I guess that will be a really nice final paper. And I can now begin to articulate what I've been trying to do since I came to Hampshire, but didn't know about. And it's not immigrants, and it's not Yiddish, but those are relevant. It's something more like how marginal people (such as immigrants, Jews, and queers, but there are so many more options, too) use the few tools at their disposal (such as sexuality and language) to subvert society and push boundaries, and how this then affects wider society- how these acts of subversion are punished or rewarded by being incorporated into the mainstream. And mostly I want to look at literature. And mostly I want to deal with male characters, and really understand what their maleness means in relation to these topics, which means also finding out what happens when we make them female instead. And, it turns out, I've been doing that anyway for a while, I just didn't really realize it.

Thanks for bearing with me. I have more visual things to post soon, maybe later this afternoon.

Hop, Heteros, Hop!

2008-10-09T11:59:00.002-04:00

Beer-Chugging Breeders

Oh man. The Hetero Hop. It was Awesome. So 6 of the best people ever tried really hard to be straight and it was great fun. These pictures pretty much explain it, but I'll help you out:
Kari (that's me) becomes Carrie, super-popular blonde girl with a crazy tan. You know so many of them. She's probably so excited that she has the same name as Sarah Jessica Parker on Sex in the City.
Katelyn becomes Kaitlin, straight-laced smart girl. But she has this rock 'n roll boyfriend Heath (played by Heather) who is a good deal older than her and so we have to assume that she gets pretty wild when she takes off her glasses and lets down that ponytail.
Megen becomes Megan the goth. She probably really wants to spell it Megann, or just call herself xxDarkSoul23xx or something. She doesn't really like parties, but she lives with us, so she felt obligated to come.
Heather becomes Heath, crazy rock 'n roll dude who is like 30 but still goes to college parties because he's skeevy like that. He dates Kaitlin. He rides a motorcycle. He might be kind of punk rock- there is orange in his hair, after all.
Joanna becomes Joe, classic frat boy. He doesn't talk much, and mostly just makes really inappropriate comments when he does. He's probably pretty good at beer pong.
Sarah becomes Sam, a prospie who is so excited about his first college party and trying so hard to be cool. He kept talking about all these philosophers, but Carrie had no idea who they were, so I don't really remember much.

Offensively accurate? Of course! We spent a lot of time looking at our straight acquaintances' Facebook albums to craft this collection of pictures. We were spot-on. I'm so proud of us.

(Also, for this party, I made a pretty sweet feltboard game that is pretty NSFW (based on pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey) but super-funny. We didn't play it because the tails got lost somewhere (still haven't found them) but I still make everyone look at it when they come into our mod. I am really good at feltboards.)

What October Means

2008-10-01T11:45:00.001-04:00

GLBT History Month! Yaaay! Check out this year's list it is so crazy full of the most amazing people:

Really outdid themselves this year. Educate yo'selves!

From the Old Country to the New

2008-08-31T20:04:00.003-04:00

In case I'm not "generating" enough "content" for you around here, I have updated my links list recently, so that you might peruse the blogs of my friends, and also to include a link to my Google Reader shared items page. 'Cause I'm really into Google Reader now, and sometimes I see entertaining or interesting things on the internet, and I like to make my friends and acquaintances familiar with them, but I am too lazy to write a whole blog post about it. No more! Now you can see what news stories and blog posts I find most interesting, and take one more step into my psyche. (I promise you are not that deep into my psyche, and that it is still quite safe.)

Oh yea, and I'm about to move back to Hampshire, and resume normal-year-life, as opposed to Summer Life. This should be fun!

Too Long for Twitter

2008-08-25T21:26:00.003-04:00

I was just reading Political Affairs (my favorite Marxist blog), and this Goethe quote jumped out at me, and I needed to put it somewhere:
"The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decisions, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now."
Mostly because I've been having a series of life-planning moments (visions?) over the summer, and I'm working on making up my mind and trying to set things in motion, most of which simply requires that I set the right things in motion, as I have nearly reached the point of no return (for the next two years at least). So Goethe inspires me, unexpectedly, and captures a good deal of my experience-based life philosophy. (I am still no Goethe fan.)

Squalor Victoria

2008-08-12T19:20:00.004-04:00

Wow, once-a-month updates. Hi. To my credit, Clara-the-laptop was out of commission for the past two weeks, and I'm boring and generally disconnected from the world in the best of times. No really. My body interprets summer as "time to hibernate." I spend a lot of time huddling in blankets these days, trying to decide if it's worth the waste of body heat to get up and feed myself. I live in a house without air conditioning in the northern hemisphere, but it's mind-over-matter and I've been reading an awful lot of books about people getting stranded in the snow.

I only feel the heat when I'm bicycling (Gala is now my best friend in the entire world, no offense previous best friends, but you don't provide me with mood-lifting exercise while also getting me where I need to be. Also you can talk and have your own problems and whatever.) but, after shoving my head under a cold shower, it's back to shivering and wondering why the landlord thinks all the windows need to be open and all the fans on at all times.

Discussing my body temperature wasn't my original goal. Let me remember.

Oh right. I have friends who are blogging more regularly now and I feel somewhat obligated to do the same, rather than just comment incessantly on their posts. For those of you who are here for life updates, it's been an interesting few weeks, mostly spent in forced minimalism. I'm a materialist and a pack rat, and I am not ashamed of this fact. I learned long ago that packing light is completely incompatible with who I am, and got over it, as we live in a world where moving large quantities of objects is actually relatively easy, if sometimes expensive. So, when I spent the past few weeks slowly losing most of the objects in my house (the loss of people was welcome, if anything, which sounds misanthropic and maybe is), I spent some rather unpleasant evenings eating four-course meals in the middle of an empty floor, spending hours sorting my piles of books in every possible iteration until I found the most satisfactory, and then a few moving the clock-radio around until I discovered that my scanner-printer makes a great antenna booster (which was about the only thing it was good for, my computer being in the shop). I even purchased and began a paint-by-number of incredibly garish tropical birds.

Now, the end is in sight, but I've managed to turn into an incredibly crotchety hermit, squatting on my piles of found objects and hissing at anyone who tries to move them, having long since reverted to a pidgin of my own construction, based mostly in inscrutable metaphors drawn from my adolescent reading list. I'd feel sorry for the people who get to live with me next, but a recent luncheon with them confirmed that they apparently find my new mental state far wittier than I am when more regularly socialized.

This was a rambling and poorly organized post, and I should have spent the time used to write this making myself dinner. I will do that now instead, and you are welcome to pretend you didn't read this. Come September, we'll be back to pictures of crazy costume parties (heterohopheterohopheterohop) and whining about homework. I really do not look forward to homework.

This Year, I Like the 4th of July

2008-07-05T08:56:00.002-04:00

http://www.katebeaton.com/Site/Welcome_files/july4.jpg

Kate Beaton is a Canadian, but she understands being an American pretty well. The only way you know that she's not really American is because she forgot to blow something up. Blowing things up is the most important part of our holidays, even George Washington loves it.

I got an awesome awesome fireworks show yesterday, at the Sarah-and-Megen house (Katie was in Longmeadow chillin' with her high school peeps), because her previously unknown neighbors apparently went out of state and bought about 4 giant crates of the best fireworks in a can known to man. UMass's fireworks show (also completely visible from the house) paled so much in comparison, especially when a big cloud decided to censor half the finale. We also got a few signs of a show toward the south- maybe Hadley's show? After UMass finished, the neighbors kept lighting their fireworks, and someone way across the field did too, except they only had sad little Roman candles and the like, and not the crazy awesome amazing fireworks that were like 50 feet from the deck on which we stood. The danger makes the fireworks better.

Did you see fireworks? Were they nearly as exciting?

The Bus Is Kind of Fun

2008-06-27T09:59:00.003-04:00

Because it is an extra-super-quiet day here at the National Yiddish Book Center, I have decided to make a nice long list of all of my Bus People, if only to help decode my tweets. I have two buses, and they are full of regulars, and this means an awful lot of Bus People.

First, actually, I should mention Chinese Walking People. They are this little old Chinese man and woman, and they go on walks in the morning, and I usually pass them on the way to the bus. They always smile and say good morning, which makes me happy.
Belchertown Bus:
Slouchy Guy- my favorite bus person. He always sits at the front of the bus, and I frequently sit right behind him. He slouches a lot. Being near him improves my posture dramatically.
Slavic Lady- she looks kind of Slavic. I think she is a professor at UMass, as she seems a bit old to be a student, but too young to be the sort of person who has decided to take summer classes and go back to school. I heard her speak recently, and she had a Hispanic accent. I still think she looks Eastern European.
Bicycle Guy- I don't think I've ever seen him ride a bike, or bring a bike on the bus. He looks like the kind of guy who bikes a lot, though. He is very tan, and smiles a lot, but he has one of those faces that would make him a slightly evil, but maybe redeemable, prince in a Disney movie. This makes me feel very confused about him.
Reading Guy- I haven't seen him in a while, which is sad. He's always reading something that he seems very fascinated with, and I like him almost as much as Slouchy Guy. He may have simply moved to the back of the bus, where I don't sit and thus don't see many people.
Fish Bag Lady- She has a bag with skeletal fish on it. She also has hair that seems to fluctuate color wildly between blonde and gray, so much so that I thought she was two different ladies with the same bag for a long time.
Dour Woman- She tends to look rather dour, and she moves kind of stiff, like she's in pain. I guess the pain makes her dour.

Puffer's Pond/Atkins Corner Bus:
Jemaine Kid- He looks like Jemaine from Flight of the Conchords. He has an awesome retro bike. He even talks like Jemaine, except with an American accent. He is friends with
Joachim- I don't know why I call this guy Joachim, but I do. He is a Hipster in every sense of the word. He carries a neon teal-and-purple 80s duffle bag. He wears skinny jeans, and rolls them up when he bicycles. His bike is also quite 80s, just like everything else Joachim owns. He has another hipster friend, too, but I don't see him often enough to have named him.
Biker Girl- She actually has a bike that she brings sometimes, and her legs look like she is a serious biker-person. She has pretty awesome shoes that I am frequently fascinated by.
RISD Girl- She goes to RISD, which I know because I overheard her talking to Biker Girl about it. I'm pretty sure she works at Eric Carle. She eats yogurt sometimes, and she reads her Bible on the bus, which makes me lump her in with
Catholic Lady- Catholic Lady does her rosary every morning while she is waiting for the bus and while riding the bus. Once I saw her reading a book, and it was about Catholicism.
Bread Guy- He brings these HUGE bags of bread on the bus. I don't know what he does with all the bread, or where he's taking it, or even where he gets it, but dude has a lot of bread.
Fantasy Novel Girl- Fantasy Novel Girl only rides in the afternoons, and not all that frequently. She is a pretty stereotypical teenage geek girl, with her big t-shirts and long hair and glasses and reading of fantasy novels. They might be science fiction, but I think I saw her wearing a unicorn shirt once.
Hipster Hampshire Girl- She goes to Hampshire, but I don't know her name. She's not as much of a hipster as Joachim, but she definitely belongs to the Prescott/Dakin J set.

Those are all of the Bus People I can think of right now. I have some other people that I haven't really assigned identities to yet, but I may as the summer goes on. Bus People occupy a large proportion of my summer time thoughts, mostly because I don't think much during the summer.

facing the way

2008-06-04T19:23:00.002-04:00

I tweeted that I loved this poem yesterday, and it was really a reminder to put it somewhere that I won't forget it, like here:

the fundamental question about revolution
as lorraine hansberry was not afraid to know
is not simply whether i am willing to give up my life
but if i am prepared to give up my comfort:
clean sheets on my bed
the speed of the dishwasher
and my gas stove
gadgetless
but still preferable to cooking out of doors
over a fire of smouldering roots
my eyes raking the skies for planes
the hills for army tanks.
paintings i have revered stick against my walls
as unconcerned as saints
their perfection alone sufficient for their defense.
yet not one lifeline thrown by the artist
beyond the frame
reaches the boy whose eyes were target
for a soldier's careless aim
or the small girl whose body napalm
a hot bath after mass rape
transformed
or the old women who starve on muscatel
nightly
on the streets of New York.

it is shameful how hard it is for me to give
them up!
to cease this cowardly addiction
to art that transcends time
beauty that nourishes a ravenous spirit
but drags on the mind whose sale would patch
a roof
heat the cold rooms of children. replace an eye.
feed a life.

it does not comfort me now to hear
thepoorweshallhavewithusalways
(Christ should never have said this:
it makes it harder than ever to change)
just as it failed to comfort me
when i was poor.

That's Alice Walker, found in Good Night, Willie Lee, I'll See You in the Morning, and it's just about perfect.

In other news, I like twitter because it's like writing poetry, while blogging is more like writing a novel (I write three volume novels). Stylistic impositions are very very good for me.

Tweet Tweet

2008-06-03T10:32:00.003-04:00

So I've been kind of failing at traditional blogging, mostly because when I want to sit down and blog, I realize that I need to devote at least an hour to writing these long, entertaining, involved accounts of my life. And that's awesome- I love doing that, but my schedule doesn't always. So I have a new plan! Throughout my day, I'm always getting these little surges of inspiration for amazing things that I want to tell the world about my exciting life. Usually, I put these things into my facebook status or my gtalk or status or some such, but that is silly, and that requires that I sit in front of a computer. Now, in order to be more inclusive, I have switched all of that over to Twitter. If you have no idea what Twitter is, just watch that box over on your left that says Twitter on it, and know that it will update all the friggin' time. If you're already in the Twitter scene (and I am probably the last person on the internet to jump on this here bandwagon), well let's follow each other and keep up to date with our respective minutiae. 'Cause we were already doing it with Facebook status anyway.

Also: (1:33 pm) Sometimes I spend my day reading a book and I want to jot down various things that stand out to me because I'm trying to do more of that. Twitter is a nice place for that, because it wastes less paper than putting it all in my notebook, as much as I love my notebook. So when you're thinking "wow these are a lot of updates that seem to be quotes," you're right. Summer reading season is in full swing now, and that means that most of my life is on hold in favor of books.

Drag Ball!!!

2008-04-12T23:19:00.002-04:00

So the infamous Drag Ball was last night. Drag Ball is kind of like what prom would be if life were so much better, I think. You spend weeks and weeks preparing, deciding what to wear, then spend a few hours getting yourself all prettied up with your friends, then you go and check out how pretty everyone else is, and then you dance your hearts out. And someone takes pictures in front of a cheesy background so that you can always remember how pretty you were. And Gizelle is there. Gizelle is an important detail. So, without much further ado, here is a collection of pretty pictures I have culled from the website full of Drag Ball pictures. There are a lot of them, and I don't know most of the people in the picture, so, if you don't want to go through all the pictures for my stories, just scroll down! After the link to the album, I have included individual pictures and captions.

Drag Ball 2008

We are the Fab Five, from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. I am Carson, Gwynne is Jai, Heather is Kyan (at the last minute cause Emma wasn't feeling well- we actually dressed Heather as our Straight Guy- note the signature Carson "blazer over t-shirt" and then realized she could be Kyan, too, although her hair is all wrong), Sarah as Thom (unfortunately shadowed and you cannot see her amazing boots, although she is waaaaay too butch to be Thom) and Katie as Ted. We also thought about casting Heather as Ted's partner Barry, but decided that we didn't want to actually shave her head. I am in love with my Carson shirt. It is so bright and so perfect and I kind of want to wear it all the time. Also, I dyed and cut my hair for this, so, um, check it out. (Actually Heather cut it and also cut Sarah's and her own because she is amazing like that.) You can't really tell cause the light's weird, but it is quite blonde and pretty fabulous.

Sweeney Todd. So brilliant. Especially because said Mr. Todd offered all of the many bearded folks shaves all night. Including Katie, whose brilliant five-o-clock shadow by me I was not going to let anyone touch.

GIZELLE. LOVE.

Reason I Love My School So So Much: Ralph and Manfred. As Queens Elizabeth I & II. At Drag Ball. If you're not in the know, Ralph is the President of my college and Manfred is his husband. They are amazing, as this photo proves. Because I cannot get enough of this, here are two more:

When the Fab Five and I went to enter Drag Ball, we found the door locked (because they changed the time at the last minute and it was lame but anyway) so we stood around outside SAGA for a while. We were rewarded when we saw these two lovely ladies exiting SAGA. It took us a minute to figure out who they were, and then we clearly all made this "where are you going" face because Manfred said (in perfect Elizabeth II voice) "We're coming back!" and then they walked away and we all squeed. Amazing!!

X-Ray Style

2008-03-27T13:12:00.001-04:00

I have pictures for you, you want? Yes?

Katie's 20th birthday

Toronto

One of these days I'm going to get my act together and there will be another episode of Living Strange Days. It's all shot, just needs to be edited. Unfortunately, I apparently have classes and homework and such. Sigh.

Livin' In Dream City

2008-02-20T11:47:00.002-05:00

Ever have one of those days where all the random things you have to do end up on the same day? Hi. That's me right now. Except, at the moment, I'm at work, in the store even, and there are no customers (as always), so I have nothing to do but wait until lunch. After lunch, I will have no rest until something like midnight. Anyway, would you like an update on my life?

I'm taking classes, they are nice. UMass classes are kind of hilariously like high school, in that "this is really easy and I feel like I should be saying all the answers because they are obvious but I can't because the stupid kids who never pay attention need a chance to try to figure this out too" kind of way. Also in that "grades" and "multiple choice tests" kind of way. The prof is amazing, though, and promises to let me write real papers and I'm pretty excited and love the class. Also, I am a TA for Rachel's Yiddish Lit class and that's really fun and pretty exciting, even if Media Services conspires to make getting movies for screenings really really hard. Also I am taking a nice intimate class with Rachel about post-WWII Jewish Culture and it's so much fun to have a 6 person class again. I'd forgotten how much I thrive in those situations. We've been watching amazing movies from the 40s and 50s and I'm a little obsessed with the silliness of the Hays Code and the silly ways people get around it.

In the "animal and social satisfactions" section of my life, I am seeking them as enthusiastically as ever. Sometimes it snows for like one day and it's pretty, but then it rains and everything turns into melty slush and that's not so happy. We shot some really exciting video of me running around in the snow, though, and we plan on combining it with exciting video of Sarah and Rachel (who I miss so much) running around in the snow for a fun premiere by the end of this month. Because sometimes Fphour has crazy bursts of creativity and you should really get to share in them sometimes.

I listen to a lot of music. I watch the occasional movie, and a lot of television, but less than I used to. I read for class, and mean to read for pleasure. Bernard recommends that I read all of his plays every year for the next 10 years. It would probably improve me greatly if I did. I have the most complex Lenten contract I've ever had, but it's working well. I've been wearing ties more frequently. I can't decide what colors to code my Google Calendar. I'm going to go to lunch.

Premier!!

2008-01-25T22:06:00.001-05:00

So remember that exciting premier I hinted at in my last post? It has arrived! Now, before you watch the loverly internet video that you will find below, I should probably explain myself. Sometime last semester, our darling Emma noted that Fphour tends to run itself like a family sitcom. And sometime after that, we realized that it would be really brilliant if we actually made it. And, it being JanTerm, we have some time on our hands (it's not like any of us are taking classes, you see). So what you are about to watch is the first fruits of an intense labor. It's only the tip of the iceberg- we've created back story and universe details that you can't begin to imagine, and have another episode written, a third outlined, and are hoping to shoot both of them this weekend. We expect this thing to last a while, because it entertains us. Hopefully it will also entertain you a little bit.

This version is slightly rough because I insist on putting it up now (and no one else in my production team thinks that's a very good idea), and you might see a prettier version tomorrow or Sunday.

Oh My Exclusives From Paisley Man!

2008-01-22T22:04:00.000-05:00

Some early costume tests have been leaked and they are fabulous!

Paisley Man!!

Also, Living Strange Days is proceeding on schedule and may be premiering this weekend! Watch this space for news.

In other news, this photo exists and makes me so happy:

And before you go saying "neat how did you make that in photoshop" there was zero photoshop involved in this and instead a really really old camera was used and we all sat still for 25 seconds.

Frantic

2008-01-02T11:28:00.000-05:00

So life is incredibly boring these day and I am absolutely obsessed with my music library, so guess what you get! One of those silly shuffle-your-music surveys! Woo! The fun part? I might throw the mix into a zip folder and give it to you. If I don't find better things to do this afternoon.

Commence copy-paste!

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question.-

No cheating!

What does next year have in store for me?
The Second- Oliver Future. (2007 part two? That'll be fine.)

How would I describe my life right now
Cruella DeVille- 101 Dalmations. (See? Boredom=cruelty!)

What's my love life like?
They're Not Witches- Guided by Voices. (It is true. I am not dating witches. Or little children.)

What are your feelings about your current fling?
Glory Days- Bruce Springsteen. (Alright, said fling, please step forward, cause you sound exciting. Unless my fling is with my glory days, which I guess is cool, too.)

What do I say when life gets hard?
Coz I Love You - Brian Slade. (Velvet Goldmine fixes EVERYTHING.)

What do you think of when waking up?
Tickets to What You Need- Badly Drawn Boy. (I think about the dream I had where I was married to Madonna?)

What song will I dance to at my wedding?
Space and Time (live)- The Verve. (I think this means the Verve are playing at my wedding. Sweet? Alternately, space and time are finally on my side, yaaaaay.)

What song will be played at my funeral?
It's OK tag/speech by Pearl Jam. (A track of Pearl Jam talking? Ok I need to fix the amount of concert stuff that's in my library. Alternately, "it's okay" that I'm dead. Thanks, guys.)

How will I be remembered?
All the Wine by the National. (I am not an alcoholic, I swear.)

What do you want as a career?
This is It by Ryan Adams. (It is totally my career. Blogging is not. Although blogging wouldn't be bad.)

Your favorite saying?
The View by Modest Mouse. (That's my saying? "The View. As in that show with Barbara Walters and Rosie O'Donnell.")

Favorite place?
D.A.N.C.E. by Justice. (Yay dancing!)

What do your parents think of you?
Help Me, Rhonda by the Beach Boys. (I don't know who Rhonda is, but she better help my parents.)

What's your porn star name?
Breakdown by Mae. (That's an awful porn star name. I must be a highly dysfunctional porn star.)

Where would you go on a first date?
Brand New Something Going On by Andy Griggs. (Somewhere new!)

Describe yourself:
Chris Michaels by Fiery Furnaces. (this is a sweet song about international gangsters, I think. Or birds. It's hard to tell, but I feel good about it.)

How would others describe you?
Children of December by the Slip. (Guys my birthday is not in December. I don't even like December.)

How does your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend see you?
Come a-Hellin' by deshead. (I think this means I am a party on wheels. Yay!)

What is the thing I like doing most?
Hallelujah by John Cale. (Um. Watching Scrubs? Episodes of Scrubs where someone dies?)

What is my state of mind like at the moment?
The Sharing Song by Jack Johnson. (I am sharing my mind. Via my music.)

If I were a song, what would I be?
Monday Monday Monday by Tegan and Sara. (Really? Of all possible songs?)

Style Always Wins Out in the End

2007-12-02T15:30:00.000-05:00

We have the most fabulous parties on Fphour.

Queer Eye ended for ever, so we saw it out with a bang.

Queer Eye Finale

You may also check out the Fphour album for some new shots from Oscar's birthday tea.

Last night was the best. Glitter party. Watching Ziggy Stardust and Velvet Goldmine. Being Ziggy Stardust, sans cocaine. Amazing.

All that Glitters

Also, um, I cut my hair? Hi?

The Wrecking Ball

2007-10-29T20:49:00.000-04:00

Dudes you should totally click on the photo album in the previous post and check out the brand-new pictures of the Clue kids at Hallowe'en, including yours truly. We are amazing.

Ushti Baba

2007-10-28T10:39:00.000-04:00

Hampshire Hallowe'en

Dudes it was Hampshire Hallowe'en. I have spent the morning combing the annals of Facebook to find you some pictures. Also I even uploaded some of my own. Pictures containing me are for some reason rare (and my costume was sweet so laaaame) but Scottie has the ones of the whole cast of Clue (and we are gorgeous) and will surely be uploading them soon, but she is at a ballroom competition in Boston today. Anyway, Hallowe'en was sweet and there are pictures for you to look at.

Fear Is Free

2007-10-10T22:50:00.000-04:00

Oh my goodness dudes I went to Boston over Fall Break and it was fabulous great fun. Katie took pictures!

Boston-Honk!

We saw 17 (18?) sweet bands, and we danced like there was no tomorrow (when your feet will ache), and we went shopping at the Garment District (I bought the best pants in the world and a sweet dress and so much teal and purple clothing for CHAOS uniforms) and hung out with Debi and Nick (who have the best apartment ever, no lies) and had Heather's birthday dinner and Sarah broke the T and had an adventure of Doom at Brandeis, but at least I didn't have to deal with her adventure of Doom.

So basically, sweetness in Boston. Look at the pictures.

As Promised

2007-10-02T13:44:00.001-04:00

Birthday Party

Scottie's and Katie's pictures of the party. They fail to capture the awesome, because it did not translate well to still moments of digital happiness.

Looking Out My Window At the Night

2007-10-01T22:30:00.000-04:00

I adore my hall more than any other hall ever. To prove the joy of living here, I present you pictures from last Friday night.

Fphour

Not birthday party pictures because Katie's were all super-blurry and I am waiting for Scottie's. Should Scottie's not be much better, I will share all.

Heute Habe Ich Geburtstag!!

2007-09-22T19:12:00.001-04:00

In case you weren't aware, I am 20 now. It's kind of exciting.

I am making a birthday play list, mostly because I can't listen to one song by die Prinzen on repeat forever (even though I do this every time it is my birthday). It is only somewhat about birthdays, but it is cheerful. Once Yom Kippur ends (which is basically right now), festivities will ensue.

Fresh as the Bright Blue Sky

2007-09-17T12:46:00.000-04:00

Weekends are awesome, especially holiday weekends. They start on Thursday nights, which, for now, is only Tim Gunn, but will soon be full-blown Cookie Party, then wind into yoga cla,ss (which is so much more intense now but that's good) and through a lazy lunch and a free afternoon (thanks to Rosh Hoshana) and into a rainy Saturday morning spent in bed, dinner at Judie's, and a busy Sunday at the Big E, followed by a cocktail-dress-wearing, cheese-and-grape-juice-consuming party for the Emmys, even if I left them halfway through to finish my homework. And my homework is fascinating reading, so it's not like I can complain that much. Matter of fact, I should go to class now, one of my three classes that are all really about the same thing, which pleases me.

Once I Had This Dream

2007-09-12T08:02:00.000-04:00

Yes, I am back in the States, and that means Hampshire. Yes, I am eating and healthy and if I could manage to sleep more than 6 or 7 hours a night life would be perfect. But my schedule is very busy and I have a lot of homework so I'm doing the best I can.

Summary of life, yes? Where to begin? Well, my hall is fabulous and amazing and we have great plans, although so far they have resulted only in awesome lounge decor and a tv schedule, but we're thinking ice cream maker and costume parties and other Lovelies. Also we have made Sims of the Hall and they are pretty hilarious and we are Nerds. Classes are going well- Israel and Palestine is fascinating (plus I <3 Aaron), Secular Jewish Culture is so unexpectedly big but I'm really excited because it's this summer's Culture Class continued, Modern European Immigrant Lit has the best readings ever, but I'm kind of ambivalent about the professor and the Smithies who fill my class. For one thing, having a class without a single boy is kind of unnerving. Old Norse is great and very fun and the entire class is Nerd Nerd Nerd which is lovely. Also I am not the only 5 college student there, so I feel less alone. I've been to the Book Center to work just one day so far, and I'm still shuffling my hours around so that I can actually get enough time in to earn money and also not go crazy from never having free time. And I have sooooo much homework and of course my two reading-intensive classes are on the same day, so that's why I'm not sleeping. I spent 6 hours reading last night, and I still have a response paper to write. I swear I do this because I love it.

My friends are also fabulous and amazing, and we have been having great fun in spite of having absolutely no time. Sarah, Katie and I are one act into The Importance of Being Earnest, and if we ever get free time again, we'll be finishing it because we adore this play (Sarah has never read it, but she will adore it). Rebecca came down from Vermont to visit this weekend, which meant that she and Jason and Klaus and I went to Korean Restaurant and Bart's and the Diner and that was very exciting. Rebecca also spent the night at Hampshire and that meant a trip to Atkins the next morning, which turned into the Longest Atkins Trip ever, when, upon returning, we ran into Debi-Nick-Mindy-Scottie, who were on their way to Atkins, and so we went back with them to hang out. Debi and Nick are very excited about their new apartment in Boston, and visiting will happen soon. Post-Atkins, we went to the oh-so-exciting Dan Kahn concert at the Book Center- yay radical klezmer folk-punk! Dan Kahn plays like 2984698746978 instruments and he brought an amazing band with him and he translates Yiddish songs in exciting ways and he is also a great performer and apparently his CD is just as exciting but I wouldn't know because Noah has the copy that I bought. (In a great husband-wife moment that is so typical, I saw Noah for all of 5 minutes on Sunday, and most of that was him asking me for money for the CD, which I, as a good husband, provided.) Post-concert, Sarah and Debi and I filled out insurance forms, by which I mean Debi returned to our hall and was social with all these people she hadn't seen in a few months, and I filled out the forms while asking Debi occasional questions. And apparently I have to go get a doctor fill out a form about how I was sick 2 and a half weeks ago because that is how awesome our insurance company is. Which means that I have to find time in my schedule to go to Health Services, which does Not please me.

Other than that, my entire life has been taken up by classes and homework. But it is Wednesday, and my classes for tomorrow are faaaaar less reading-intensive, so I'll be fine. Also: Tim Gunn tonight which means so much swooning.

What Is The Light?

2007-09-09T18:28:00.000-04:00

Birobidzhan!

Photos from Birobidzhan, in no particular order. You know how to e-mail me or comment to ask what stuff is. Fun game: find me in the photos! It's kinda like Where's Waldo!

Whimper Whimper

2007-08-27T22:28:00.000-04:00

In case you haven't heard, and have been wondering why I disappeared so suddenly, I nearly died. Okay, not quite so dramatic, but I did have a very very bad case of salmonella and am now very very slowly on the mend. Today is an Exciting Day because I walked all the way to the post office to do e-mail and internets, except that I only had maybe 3 e-mails of an exciting nature and absolutely nothing on Facebook (except lots of photos, which I don't have the energy for now) and I am disappointed in all of you. When I am dying, I want well-wishes of an electronic form!

So 4 days in a Soviet hospital didn't kill me, but it was very very scary and I want to go home soooooo much. Instead, I am curling up in a hotel room, reading a lot of books, and not eating much. I wouldn't be eating much at home, either, but I think it would be a lot more. No food here is appetizing.

I am quite tired now, so I shall wrap this up and convince Debi and Sarah to take me home (which means another very long walk, which I am not looking forward to) and I will sleep for a very long time.

Git a Kuk!

2007-08-16T03:04:00.000-04:00

Sarah and I have titled our movie after our favorite Berl Kutlerman catch-phrase. If I am a good videographer, we will have a fascinating montage by the end of our time here.

I spent my afternoon in some sort of press conference about a new book called L'Chaim Birobidzhan. Said press conference/panel discussion/something or other was entirely in Russian, although I'm sure it was fascinating. It is classic Berl to have us all show up for something without bothering to tell us that we won't understand it.

The level 3 ("advanced") Yiddish class is up to something like 12 people, of 12 utterly unrelated levels. I am the only person in the class who knows German, and everyone else knows at least some Hebrew (including people who know Hebrew much better than Yiddish), and this means that Hebrew is no longer just stealing my lunch money, but now it is also waiting outside in the school yard to beat me up on the way home. The fact that my teacher knows German and only as much Hebrew as Yiddish has taught him is a deliciously ironic reversal I am sure to face for the rest of my American (non-German) Yiddish education, but I'm not quite excited about appreciating said reversal when it totally ruins my opportunity for the perfect Yiddish class. New plan: take myself off to Trier and learn Yiddish for real, with actual linguists who are doing actual research that interests me. Preferably this coming spring, but that's something to negotiate with Hampshire.

In other news, we went to Khabarovsk yesterday, and it was a very interesting but poorly planned trip. Example: Berl forgot to schedule meals. We left at 6 in the morning and returned at 8 in the evening. After much whining, we got him to give us 20 minutes to grab hot dogs (I pity my vegetarian friends- Debi is pretty much living off chips at this point, and sometimes I have to stop her before she accidently eats bacon flavor). We also met some old Jews at a synagogue, and some young Jews at a preschool, and had a lovely "Git a Kuk" tour of Russian architecture.

Today is aBad Day because it started badly, but I promise you should not worry about me. Tomorrow shall be better. It is a funny story, though, so I shall share: last night, we got a call from someone who was like "we will pick you up for class at 9:15 tomorrow." So I set my alarm for 8:45, woke up, knocked on Sarah's door to let her know to get up, and decided to lay back down for 10 minutes because I was very very sleepy. At 8:48, someone banged very very loudly on my door and shouted something in Russian, then went around banging on all the other doors. Upon opening our doors, myself and my neighbors encountered one of the Dorm Mothers saying "mashine mashine" and making driving motions, and we gathered that the car was here for us, and wanted to leave. Half an hour early. Chaya figured this made no sense, and went down to find out what was going on. The driver was Russian, no one spoke any not-Russian, and so Chaya wrote 9:15 on a piece of paper, which the driver crossed out and wrote 9. So we determined that we had to get ready very very quickly, and I went to brush my teeth while the dorm mother lady continued to point at her watch and shout things in Russian at me. We did leave at 9, and got to school far too early (class starts at 9:30 Jewish Time, which is like 9:45. We were there at like 9:15. Not cool.) and I have been really off-center all day because of it. Grrr.

Sholem Aleichem!!!

2007-08-13T22:50:00.000-04:00

I am in Birobidzhan, and it is the land where dreams come true. We are being taken care of in the best of ways, the grocery store chain is called Brider, there is a Freylikh Cafe, a statue of Sholem Aleichem to which we have made great pilgramiges, a statue of Tevye... the symbol of the city is a menorah and a rainbow. How could this place be any better? Well, they could speak not-Russian or I could speak Russian, but we are getting by with the help of some new friends. My Yiddish is starting to recover from the 10 days in Germany which utterly, utterly killed it, Debi has recovered from the Frankfurt hot chocolate that made her deathly ill in Moscow, we've all recovered from not sleeping during the looooong journey from Frankfurt to here. It's only rained about half the 4 days we've been here, I have seen maybe 3 mosquitoes and they are not of a larger-than-normal size, they tell us the water is safe to drink and I had a cup of tea made from it this morning and still feel just fine.

I feel that I should be doing a better job of chronicling these things, as Debi certainly is, and Sarah appears to be, but my poor brain is all over the place running around in the happiest of circles. We got in at about 8 in the evening on Saturday, greeted by about 12 (or so it seemed, at least, it was probably more like 5) incredibly friendly, incredibly fast-talking Russians. One man spoke Hebrew, Debi and Sarah used him to make some communication possible, but mostly these very friendly women dragged us around showing us things, took us to the Brider, and put us in our rooms (we each have a whole room to ourselves! Mine's a triple, Sarah's is a double, and Debi has a suite with a bathroom of her own and everything) and we ate some bread and some chips and collapsed from exhaustion. Debi was awoken at 9:30 Sunday morning (although we thought it was 8:30- funny story about us not managing to figure out which time zone we're in) by the amazing Berl (who is a tiny Yiddish powerhouse) who was like "Good morning we, the leaders of the program, are here and we will come back in 5 hours to show you around and explain things" and then he left. Sarah and I awoke, we decided to wander towards the center of town, proceeded to be Amazed by the beauty of this city, got yelled at by a telephone salesman when we tried to use his internet, found a store called Tsimmes and some other exciting Yiddish things, and managed to order borscht and bread and juice at a real Russian cafe all by ourselves. Then we went back to the dorms because it was nearing the time that Berl and Co. claimed they would return. Tired, we all settled down to read, and promptly fell asleep for the next 6 hours. Fortunately or not, Berl and Co. failed to appear while we were asleep, and failed to appear for the rest of the night, during which we got creative enough to boil water and make a sad pot of pasta (this before we knew if we were allowed to drink the water or would suffer fiery stomach-death for it). Monday, the day the program was to begin, we awoke and gathered and had no idea what was to happen to us. And played cards and watched Russian tv (we have 2 channels, so we were alternating between a Soviet War Movie Marathon and some sort of herbal medicine talk show. It was surreal.) and waited. And waited. And hungered. And wondered what was to become of us. Finally, someone knocked on our door, and it was... a woman speaking Russian who apparently left something in Debi's freezer that she wanted to retrieve. So we waited some more, and then there was another knock! This time it was a Japanese woman named Tziziko, who is also in the program and living in the dorms with us. She had apparently talked to Berl earlier in the day, and informed us that we were to meet him and the rest of the program at 4 at the school. More excitingly, we found out that she speaks at least some Russian. With great gusto, we implored her to come to lunch with us, where we managed to get real food (at the Freylikh Cafe) and managed to navigate the Russian bus system, and got to the program at the appointed time. At the school, we found a room full of local students, which was most surprising and exciting. After we arrived, Leybl from Oxford showed up, and a couple from Ohio (one born in Israel, the other in South Africa) joined us later, and so I guess that makes us quite the international group. Yiddish classes began, and I am working with a German Yiddish professor, using a textbook written from Germans learning Yiddish, and this means that all my dreams have come true and that I should be doing my future Yiddish studying in Germany because it just makes So. Much. More. Sense. I have exactly 1 minute and 51 seconds of B-roll footage for the video, because I was a very very bad cinematographer and failed to charge my camera before Berl's amazing amazing walking tour yesterday, but it was also rainy and gross and that does not make for pretty video. Today it is sunny and we are doing a shmues-walk, so perhaps better footage will result.

We have 45 minutes left of our lunch break and have not yet eaten, so perhaps I will persuade Debi to leave now.

Weimar Woot Woot

2007-08-05T17:22:00.000-04:00

Yes, I am in the loverly city of Weimar, which is more shtetl than shtot by Yiddish standards, so I guess that makes it a Städtchen in German but that's not a word. And we finally found Debi (who is staying in the same hostel as us) tonight (although we have been in Weimar since 9 pm last night) and have had other adventures, including:
-finding the cutest French cafe EVER
-taking Katie to the hospital because apparently that's what you have to do to get sinus medicine in Germany on a Sunday (things not ever being open on Sunday was on my "I don't like this" list, I now remember)
-eating Bratwurst and Döner yesssssss
-hooking up with some Yidn (mostly German Gentiles, natch) for singing and dancing (we threaded the needle yay!)

Also umm München stories? Frenchy Frenchman our hostel roommate was so amazing and we had so many very short, slightly awkward but oh-so-charming conversations. Munich itself remains among my favorite cities in the world, we checked out some sweet art at the Pinakothek, and we went on a sweet free tour that involved so many stories about beer because Munich is all about beer. And Sarah inadvertently stole a beer glass from which she was drinking apple juice, because she is good at things like that. And ummmmm I love Munich?

Maybe I will be better at travelouging while in Biro-bairo-Biro-bairo-Biro-bairo-Birobidzhan. Tomorrow, it is off to Dresden, then Leipzig (1 day each), then we hit up Frankfurt for laundry and last-minute shopping and maybe a little sightseeing.

München Heart

2007-08-03T05:34:00.002-04:00

It is good to be in Bayern again. We had a lovely train ride and a wonderful hostel with roommates from Ireland and France. Delicious Spanish food for dinner, exciting plans for today.

I'll remember how to blog with detail one day, I promise.

Today

2007-08-01T16:55:00.000-04:00

Took a tour with the most amazing charismatic tour guide, said "un a" to a German, who quite within-his-rightly interpreted it as "ohne" (I have completely forgotten the word ein and I hate myself for it), and got hissed at by some random lady while having dinner in the basement of Bertl Brecht's house. Overall, a success.

Woooooooooyaaaawwwwwnn

2007-07-31T08:30:00.001-04:00

So I am in the lovely city of Berlin, in an absolutely gorgeous hostel (seriously so pretty and a perfect location) and I am tired beyond tired because I got up at 5 am yesterday and haven't seen a bed since. Trains and planes and automobiles all coordinated quite nicely, no one got lost or killed, there has been an excess of food, and all of my Important Things are locked up nice and safe. Life is good, I want a nap but I don't dare. Instead, we go to bed early tonight and good things happen tomorrow.

More Pictures!

2007-07-23T08:10:00.001-04:00

At the end of the loverly Yiddish Camp album, you will find brand new pictures that you have not seen before, including many fine pictures that depict actual working being done!

Yiddish Camp

Shake Hands

2007-07-18T23:02:00.000-04:00

There is a t-shirt designed by the Super Freylikh Team in the works. If all goes well, it will be available for you to purchase. It is an amazing t-shirt.

In other news, David Shneer is a lovely human being and daytrips to klez concerts in New York can be very exciting and it is finally raining. Also, my count of letters completed in the warehouse is up to 5, and I've done the end of Reysh, but the middle still needs to be done, so I'm not quite sure where that puts me. "Me" being of course "me and Mikhl most of the time but he abandoned me today."

Yellow Pigs Day was yesterday and I like the number 17 even more now. 17 is a very good number.

Don't Be Long

2007-07-12T17:34:00.001-04:00

Mikhl and I are now the Super Freylikh Team in the warehouse.

That is all.

Productivity!

2007-07-10T22:52:00.000-04:00

Apparently Debi got inspired by Marissa and decided to upload all her pictures today, so if you click on the link in the previous entry, it will take you to a collection of 121 pictures from the past 5 weeks or so. The first 70 are Marissa's, and go chronologically, and then the chronology starts over with Debi's pictures. I have captioned them all with varying degrees of detail, and I will gladly tell stories about whatever, just ask me.

Woo Pictures

2007-07-09T17:31:00.000-04:00

Marissa uploaded her pictures from the first 5 weeks of Yiddish Camp, so I can now share them with you! I'm working on captions- I'm heading out to dinner and shmues-kreis in half an hour or so, but I promise I"ll get captions done.

Yiddish Camp

Where Do We Go Now?

2007-07-05T17:50:00.000-04:00

I never did tell you about Canada, did I? Canada is the most crazy mixed-up land ever, except for Vermont. Here's how it went down:
We got off to a great start, with me and Debi and Jessica and Sonia in the small van. Yes, 4 people in an 11-seater. It makes perfect sense, I swear.
A few hours down the road, the phone rings. It is Rachel, informing us that Jonah's car has died in some town called Sharon. As it happens, we are right in front of the exit for Sharon, and we go to save them.
And go to save them. And go. And drive up and down route 11 or whatever godforsaken road we were on for 1 hour. We stopped to ask directions twice, and called Jonah/Rachel/etc at least 4 times. We drove past Dixie's Country Kitchen more than once. For the first 45 minutes, we thought we were seeking Seltz Auto Repair because Sonia is awesome at phones. When I finally got on the phone, I discovered that it was Phelp's, and suddenly life became easier when a no-nonsense lady at a general store gave us the kind of directions I like ("go past the big pile of dirt and there will be a Mobil station on your left and keep going straight and when you see the iron bridge slow down because you're almost there") except there was a detour but Jonah gave us directions we could follow, and we took the National Yiddish Van down a dirt road, certainly the first time it had done such a thing. We passed Rokhl and Mikhl when we were nearly there, and it turned out that they had given up and were going for a swim. We drove on and collected Jonah and Jay, and proceeded to all go jump in the river with our clothes on. Well, Debi and Jonah and I jumped in, and Sonia and Jessica kinda waded, and Jay stood on the shore and told us we were meshugge. Which we were. Once we were all nicely soaked, we got out and Jonah got yelled at by some country lady who told him to go back where he came from and we got back in the van, somewhat more crowded than we had been, and drove to Canada. The border guy made us get out and prove that there was no funny business going on because crazy Canadian Mikhl insisted on being a Canadian citizen with a Canadian passport among a group of Americans and they were very confused as to why he was going to Canada. And then I noticed that Canada is a crazy place where they paint their farm stuff green instead of red, and I drew Don Quixote on Jonah's t-shirt, and we stopped at a tiny cafe for a bathroom break and felt so foreign, and then we finally got to Montreal and got lost and Mikhl and Jay argued but we made it to the hostel at the same time as the other van, so we rock. And we discovered that the boys' half of the hostel had bedbugs. So they were all wimpy and moved to a hostel around the corner, where they would meet the most interesting characters, but that's for later. We settled in and wandered for a few minutes, then it was dinnertime! Our chosen restaurant had a strict no-reservations policy, but there were 25 of us and apparently that meant we had an "agreement." So Sonia and Hector and I wandered over a bit early to see about said agreement. And talked to about 4 people before someone remembered something about maybe someone called, and then they agreed that they could seat us inside. So Sonia and I waited around a while and then everyone else began arriving, and we got seated. And this restaurant turned out to be amazing and the Book Center was paying for everything, so we went all out. It was all delicious and we met Naomi's lovely family and had a great time hanging out and having a very very long dinner. Afterwards, we figured we should hit up some local bar. But Naomi's sons were like "wait we know something better" and took 13 or so of us off on a long and winding trek across Montreal. We walked for like 45 minutes, losing half of the group or more along the way. It started raining, torrentially, 3 blocks before our destination. The rain made the boys determine that we would not go all the way to their intended destination, and they took us to a different bar. Dripping, we stumbled in to look at a crowd of late-20s/early-30s and up men around a bar decorated with outer space holograms. So, you know, classy. We were glad just to be dry and huddled in the corner around our drinks, attempting to salvage the night. We were smart enough to take cabs home, and I collapsed into my warm dry bed. The other hostel was not so lucky. The only bathroom was occupied by a woman taking a shower. At 1 in the morning. And she proceeded to shower for the next hour or so. In spite of them knocking on the door and asking her to hurry. Apparently, when she finally exited the shower, she made some comment about how she didn't expect anyone to want the bathroom at 1:30 am. Klaus reports that he saw her get up and take a 15 minute shower at 7 the next morning.
Our next morning, we had an appointment at the local Yiddish elementary school. So we deemed that we would meet 45 minutes before we should be there, since it is a 20 minute drive. So of course we left about 10 minutes before the appointed time. I am not learning Jewish time well- a year in Germany and a mother who thinks half an hour early is on time have gotten me pretty unable to be late to things. No one seemed to mind, and we toured the quadrilingual (English, French, Hebrew, and Yiddish) school and were all immensely jealous and began figuring out how to marry Anglophone Montrealers in order to send our children to said school. We then hopped back in our vans and went off to look at a synagogue and meet a somewhat racist gabbai and then we went to a delicious deli for piles and piles of smoked meat. Smoked meat is absolutely delicious and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I would live off smoked meat if I could. Sonia and I went off and wandered a bit in the immense free time that followed, and Sonia was sad that none of the shopkeepers would speak French with her, so I spoke German with her, and we coveted some pretty dresses and bought some great ice cream and met back up with the group. Back in the vans, we had a driving tour of Jewish Montreal (driving tours are for yes) and went to get some (very good) Montreal bagels. And went to a very swanky condo complex to pick up 16 boxes of books from a Zamler, and then it was back to the hostels, where we wandered a bit to find some food, and then all hopped on the Metro to go to a Yiddish play. It was a very exciting revue of many classic Yiddish theater songs, and we recognized many of them (of course, we were previously schooled), and we were the youngest people there by far, but the whole audience was so energetic and into it that it was an amazing experience. We came out so excited and energetic. Some people broke off to go to some jazz stuff, but a group of us decided we were hungry, and made our way towards some sort of food (after much wandering)- it was once again absolutely delicious. We gave the poor waiter a giant pile of small bills and change, for which I still feel bad, but I did at least get rid of all the excess Canadian money I was in possession of. Friday morning led us to a delicious brunch at Nomi's, and a random theater workshop. It was fun to do all these physical theater exercises, though, and a nice way to spend an afternoon before having to face another 6-hour drive. Hector was driving the big van back, and me, Debi, Sonia, Jessica, Jason, and Klaus were his passengers. We got kinda lost on the way to the border but got directions at a gas station, got through the border with no problems (Hector said he'd never brought books over that fast), and had a very scenic route through upstate New York to get back to Vermont. Once in Vermont, we tried valiantly to find food, failed for exit after exit (rural Vermont is seriously rural), and finally found a really cute little town where we got really good food at a cute little restaurant and, thus fortified, made it back to Massachusetts without incident. It was late when we got in, and sleeping felt amazing, and we had a nice relaxing weekend that ended with me getting deathly ill. I'm slightly less on my deathbed now, and the sickness is continuing to spread (I was not the first to have it and I shall not be the last), and life is proceeding nicely. Klaus got engaged, and we are having a shindig at his and Debi's houses tonight (they are neighbors so it makes sense). I was very productive at work, so the sweat and grime that cover me feel really nice. Life is good.

I forgot to tell you about Celto, but Celto is a story unto himself, and is best expressed via Paul's impression of him. Paul will be playing Celto in the intern show. There will be video.

Summer in the Orchard

2007-07-03T17:37:00.000-04:00

When you put 18 college students under an apple tree and hand them a box of Hebrew religious literature, what can result but the beautiful tableau you see below you, soon to be winging its way to the mailboxes of proud yiddishe bubes the world over?

For your identification purposes, Jonah (Joinaleh) is at the top of the tree, Michael (Mikhl) is below him, Marissa (Jungle Jew) and I are on the branch below that, then it's Kaile, Ava, Paul, Arielle, and Nick (Klaus), Jason in the chair, Christa, Sonia, Jay, Jessica, Rebecca, and Marika, and Jeremy and Rachel (Rokhl) on the ground in front of them. Look how excited we all are by the prayer books we are holding! Check out our fabulous acting skills! Look how Jonah gazes boldly into the future we are all creating! There is no propaganda here at all!

Inside the magazine, they managed to find a 50% unflattering picture of a horizontal nature.

That's Sonia on the ground, then Jeremy, Rokhl, and Jessica. The next row has Jason, Ava, Jay, Jonah, Arielle, Rebecca, and Marika, and the row behind them goes Marissa, Kaile, Christa, Paul, yours truly, and Nick. Mikhl, in classic Mikhl style, is standing at the very top.

And there you have the future. Enjoy.

In the Quiet of the Railway Station

2007-06-26T23:51:00.000-04:00

I am going to Canada tomorrow for the first time ever. I am not wrapping my head around this.

It is far too hot to sleep, so I am going to quickly summarize New York.
Thursday:
-super-awesome road tripping with Nomi, Sonia, and Rokhl. Getting lost on the BQE because it turned into some other road with no warning. Getting directions from a cab driver.
-swanky swanky dinner at Steiner Studios. Apparently they make movies there.
-15 people in an 11-passenger van, lost somewhere in Brooklyn
-tiny tiny hostel
-meeting awesome Yiddishists, and Hasidim, and ex-Hasidim, and an amazing community that almost makes me want to live in New York. But not quite.
Friday:
-bagels, taxicabs, tenements, terrifying Chinese food (and in such quantities!), the Holocaust, terrible tour guides, so so much walking, subway, challah and cake for dinner, wander a few blocks with Jonah and Sonia, beer and crosswords at Jonah's grandma's apartment until 2:30 am
Saturday:
-sleep
-Mermaid Parade (i.e. giant giant crowds and people in costumes) at Coney Island
-really good Mexican food
-wandering another neighborhood
-most mind-blowing concert I have seen in a really really long time. The acts: sweet old man from Romania with accordion, pretty decent ska band, crazy crazy performance artists who were very intimate with the audience, Golem! (sexiest klez band ever and as much as I would love them to do Debi's wedding, they are maybe too sexy for a wedding?), Extra Action Marching Band (yes, a marching band) who likes to perform in and among the audience as much as they like the stage, which means that I had a trombone over my head at some point, and I got shoved out of the way by a male cheerleader, and I might have gotten attacked by a spit valve but I hope not
Sunday:
-marching in the Gay Pride parade with Sonia and her father and their synagogue. Gays and Jews in one place! Woo!
-aching feet (see above)
-hot dog from a stand on the street
-crazy subway detours
-crazy adventures to Queens
-crazy road tripping with Nomi and almost but not quite getting lost
-sweet barbecue at a tiny roadside shack
-home and sleep in my own bed

And then I spent two days going to class and I guess we also warehoused it up for like 2 hours yesterday (it was too hot for more) and now we're going to Canada. I am so exhausted, but I can't stop. Other people are getting sick, so I try to keep my energy up to make up for that. Sonia and I are writing the intern show because we're that over-achieving. It will be amazing and full of inside jokes so you won't understand it. You can come if you want, though. Jonah and Marissa are emceeing and they are lovely people.

I am going to try sleeping. My fan is on very high and all my windows are open but that just means bugs. Send help, but not until this weekend.

Canada!

Curl Up With a Book About Organized Crime

2007-06-20T21:18:00.000-04:00

I guess it's about time for an update. Life is proceeding apace. Naomi Seidman is my absolute hero and I cannot believe that I have spent the last week and a half listening to her lecture every single day. Sorry, all future faculty of this program, but you simply will not stack up. I want Naomi to come to Hampshire and be on my committee and keep reminding me how much I love Yiddish and everything about it. Ruth Wisse gave a lecture, too, and I know she's legendary (I mean, she pretty much singlehandedly invented the academic study of Yiddish), and I won't admit it to anyone here, but she made me feel outside the field. She gave a great lecture, but at one point, probably without even meaning it, she made an offhand complaint about how the kids who come to study Yiddish these days don't grow up in the Jewishly rich home that speakers of Yiddish did, and how Yiddish teachers want to start at a higher level, but have to go through the basics of the culture first. And I know she's the sort of person who wishes that mainstream Jewish culture was more than a handful of jokes, and I'm with her there. But something about the way that offhand comment immediately excluded non-Jews from ever "getting" Yiddish made me really disinclined to listen to the rest of her lecture, and deeply colored my feelings about her. Fortunately, I have Naomi Seidman, who's used to teaching mixed-religion classes, and has actually spent a lot of time looking at the intersection of Jewish and Christian culture. I mean, she reads Gimpl the Fool as a story about the Holy Family, and not even a necessarily negative portrayal! She's also teaching all sorts of things about the secret things Jews say about Christians, and it is fascinating. I might even tell you these secrets if you ask nicely. Speaking of which, Night in the Yiddish is a very very different and intensely more honest book. I hope to read it entirely in this form one day, and I wish there were some way of transmitting that back to non-Jewish culture. I'm still not sure how I feel about the kinds of secrets that I'm learning about, although I do understand the minority's need to protect themselves.

I had no intention of being so esoteric here, but I really am in love with Naomi Seidman and it is impossible to really transmit why. Outside of class, warehouse work is grimy and sweaty and some people take to it much better than others, but those of us who have fun with it have lots of fun because, let's face it, pallet jacks are so awesome. Our days are really full, and I am trying to keep some balance (and not spend too much money), and I think I'm managing. Rebecca, Jessica, Paul, Jason, Jeremy, Michael and I spent a lot of time playing Paper Pass (as we have dubbed it) this weekend, and it may become a fixture. I've had some amazing discussions with people about so many things, although really just Jews. I'm trying really hard to get some utterly non-Jewish things in my life for balance, and I'm kind of failing. I need to hang out with Gentiles, I think.

In spite of the longness of the days and the nightly homework, I'm getting a lot of pleasure reading done. Something about being so motivated to do so much Yiddish means I'm also motivated to do non-Yiddish things. Maybe because I have to work so hard to read things in Yiddish, so reading in English is such a relaxing break.

I think people want to watch a movie, and my laundry might be done. This was a terrible update on my life. I apologize.

Sunday 1

2007-06-10T19:31:00.000-04:00

I love my life, by the way.

Jonah hosted an amazing Shabbat dinner Friday night (that's a redundant phrase) and I even managed to make some good tzimmes although it paled in comparison to Sonia's amazing kugel. I am making Sonia adopt me, because she is the best Jewish mother ever. There was a ton of great food (Debi makes really good challah, too) and I even made sure that Jonah made deviled eggs so it would be a real potluck (I told him that macaroni and cheese was also necessary but that didn't happen. The kugel had cream cheese in it though, so I guess that's kind of similar). It was great to have most of the internship kids around hanging out and eating, which we don't do often enough, even though we live together. And Debi tried to teach us some crazy Yiddish socialist songs, and then she taught us crazy Yiddish folk dances, which were more successful. There is something pretty amazing about doing mating dances barefoot in the grass at midnight. Especially when it's followed by a bonfire and singing (Kari needs to learn Jew songs because Christian songs aren't going to cut it this summer) and then playing in a creek. Nothing identifies city kids and country kids faster than wading across a(n ankle-deep) creek in the middle of the night and near-darkness. I'm a country kid, by the way. We even had some 1-in-the-morning-ice-cream-straight-from-the-carton (which included the brilliant "get a spoonful of ice cream and then dip it into the jar of hot fudge sauce" method, which I highly recommend for your next communal ice cream function), courtesy of Paul and Jeremy who know how to pick very good ice cream flavors and not boring chocolate/vanilla.

Other highlights of the week:
We have a theme song, and it is in Polish. But it's called "Oy Madagascar" and it is better than you can possibly imagine. Because of this song, Marissa is Jungle Jew.
Nicknames are happening! I love nicknames. Most of them involve Yiddish diminutives.
We took pictures in a tree (with a professional photographer and a bunch of Hebrew religious books that we did not treat with appropriate piety) and I hope they give us copies of a bunch of them cause I bet they're awesome.

Naomi Seidman is coming tomorrow and she is #3 on my list of Yiddishists I adore (after Max/Uriel Weinreich and Jeffrey Shandler) and I am beyond excited. I have no idea how to deal with this, granted, but I'm sure I'll be fine.

Yiddish!

Raptor Roar

2007-06-06T07:58:00.000-04:00

I go and put lovely dry-erase boards up for all the (2) mods and then Randall Monroe has to go and do it in his new apartment but 193485934 times better. I wish I were creative.

On a happier note, all of our stuff is labeled in Yiddish. Which Randall Monroe's apartment most sorely lacks, I am sure.

Life Is Beautiful

2007-06-04T17:34:00.000-04:00

All this rain, maybe not.

I'm moved in to Prescott 75, in a loft room (pretty much the sweetest deal ever and those of us who have them are maaaad excited) and then internet hookup is in the closet which means that computer + bed (bed being in the loft) is not quite working, but I'm managing. Computer directly underneath skylight in the loft is pretty sweet, though. Mod life is fabulous, people are wonderful.

Speaking of people, I love Internship life. We spent all day today in various lectures and classes (which is a looong day and the only time we are doing so) but it was so incredibly fascinating that I can't begin to complain. There are 3 people (including me) in the intermediate Yiddish class right now, but that might change. In any case, that is a wonderfully intimate class and I know I'm going to learn a ton, even if I'm kind of terrified right now (I cannot form a sentence in Yiddish but I do try). The professor leading the culture class this week is so knowledgeable and a very entertaining speaker, so I'm really glad I'm getting the chance to work with him. I have this opportunity to work with so many leaders of Yiddish academia this summer, and I can't believe my luck- these are the people whose books I read, and now they're here, talking to me! Aaron Lansky did a lecture on a Bashevis story and a Peretz story and I was acutely aware of how incredibly not Jewish I am and we spent a lot of time in general talking about how religion and culture weren't different things for Jews of this time period- religion wasn't thought about at all as separate from daily life- praying and hanging out with your friends and having Shabbat dinner and sleeping were all just things that you did. Of course, I still identify very much with Yiddish culture, but not in a religious sense. And I think a lot of what's important about Yiddishkeit is precisely that it's not Christian, and there's a lot of Christian influence in Judaism today (just because a lot of Christian values have shaped modern Western values) and, although no one said it in so many words today, getting into a Yiddish headspace means getting rid of Christian thinking. Which is easy to do when you point something out to a bunch of Jews as being very Christian-influenced, but not so easy for the Christian in the group. So much of what we're doing has a lot to do with one's own identity. Jewish culture is about identity. Aaron's lecture focused a lot on determining how Jewish Peretz and Bashevis are. And, no matter how much I adore Peretz and Bashevis, I don't know that I can ever judge their Jewishness. Nor will I ever read them like a Jew. We have a wide range of religious observance here (from the not-driving-on-shabbes types to the atheists), but only 2 goyim and I'm the only one who's observant. And that's going to color my treatment of Yiddish literature. And I feel the need to constantly be upfront about it, to start every sentence with "I'm a Christian, and I see this as blah blah blah" or "I'm not Jewish, but I think yadda yadda." And I don't know if that's good or bad. I don't know if it's just my attempt to maintain an identity while being a minority, or to admit that I am woefully ignorant of so many basic Jewish things (although I'm learning and I know more than some) or what, but I feel like it's going to be crucial to my Yiddish career.

I Got You Flours

2007-05-29T02:46:00.000-04:00

Every now and then I get into a literary mood and start narrating myself into the next great American novel, except that I never get farther than 2 or 3 paragraphs before I'm so distracted by my own habit of narrating that I descend into some sort of meta-meta-meta-meta analysis of my own brain and eventually stop because meta-meta-meta analysis is terribly depressing. Also, I write depressing stories because I hate happy endings, or I'm a sadist, or a masochist, or something. Anyway, when I'm at Hampshire and I fall into such a literary mood, and I'm able to be alone (which is essential for the Literary), I go and buy a vegan cookie and hole up somewhere to dramatize my life.

The first time I had a vegan cookie, I bought it as a snack before I got on a train because it was early and I was leaving Hampshire and I needed a snack. I was on my way to Thanksgiving and long train rides pretty much require you to be super-introspective plus I can write and not get sick (unlike in cars). So I wrote about my life and I nibbled on my vegan cookie and a firm association was made in my mind.

Another time, I was early for my Jew class and I bought a vegan cookie and sat in the airport lounge and started working on notes for my Roth-Comeau essay and I felt like I was capturing the picture-perfect college experience that I never live except for that half hour.

And tonight I watched Stranger Than Fiction and the girl in it is a baker and a radical and I really wanted her to bake vegan cookies because vegan cookies mean books and it's a movie about books and numbers and public transportation and if it had vegan cookies I would have known that it was My Movie but it didn't so I guess that's a disappointment.

I really really really want a vegan chocolate chip cookie.

P.S. I have a favorite story in the whole wide world and I am going to tell it to you now. By which I mean S Anski is going to tell you cause it's his story.
At the edge of the world stands a tall mountain, and on the mountain lies a great rock, and from the rock flows a clear spring. And at the other edge of the world, there is the heart of the world; for each thing in the world has a heart and the world as a whole has a great heart of its own. And the heart of the world gazes always at the clear spring and cannot have its fill of looking; and it longs and yearns and thirsts for the clear spring, but it cannot take ever the slightest step towards it. For as soon as the heart of the world stirs from its place, it loses sight of the mountain top with the clear spring; and if the heart of the world cannot see the clear spring even for a single instant, it loses its life. And at that very moment the world begins to die. And the clear spring has no time of its own, and it lives with the time that the heart of the world grants it. And the heart grants it only one day. And when the day wanes, the clear spring begins to sing to the heart of the world. And the heart of the world sings to the clear spring. And their singing spreads over the world and from it issue gleaming threads that reach to the hearts of all things in the world and from one heart to another. And there is a man of righteousness and grace who walks about over the world and gathers the gleaming threads from the hearts and out of them weaves time. And when he weaves an entire day, he gives it to the heart of the world, and the heart of the world gives it to the clear spring. And the spring lives yet another day.

My Other Pro-Tolerance Message Is Also Condescending

2007-05-11T08:38:00.001-04:00

I'm working on my last final paper now, the piece de resistance, the crown jewel of my Div I, the paper that's been floating in the back of my mind for weeks and weeks and yet couldn't seem to get written until today, the day that it is due (at Letterman's monologue, by the way, so I've got plenty of time). And I slept with the window open because it was so warm, which meant that the sound of buses awoke me by 7:30. And now, 1 hour later, I have an opening paragraph written. The hard part. Once I get into the rhythm, establish a structure and a place to go, I'll crank out a page every 20 minutes. I plan on giving you updates throughout the day, because maybe you're really bored. Right now, I'm hungry, but I don't know if SAGA's open. I've never had a reason to eat this early. I'm trying to figure out what the Queer Canadian Diaspora is, if it exists. I'll let you know how that goes.

Shortly after 9 am, paragraph 2 is done. I keep writing about things that aren't what I took my notes on. This happens every time. It's raining.

9:20 am: Paragraph 3 down, halfway through the 3rd page. Rain has let up. Still hungry, I'm finally in a place where I feel comfortable in this paper. Buses are very noisy outside, but I need the window open.

9:55 am: I'm onto the 5th page now. As usual, I'm using too many block quotes (2 so far, one from each book), but I feel like the material speaks really well for itself. Besides, my professor hasn't read the main work I'm dealing with, so he needs some context. The block quotes aren't just for length. I'm going to put some sort of clothing on and go eat something so I don't die.

10:28 am: Blood sugar momentarily restored, concentration utterly lost. Fair trade?

11:07 am: Having finally forced myself to continue writing a few minutes ago, I have now completed page 5. The cloud-filtered sunlight makes everything look really really green outside. Or maybe it's because it's so wet. In any case, it's gorgeous.

11:28: 6 and a half pages. Katie is awake.

11:50: I'm to the eighth page. Word is momentarily freaking out. The essay is starting to get really explicit, because it's Philip Roth and Joey Comeau and neither one is the kind of person to use G-rated vocabulary. We're sliding toward NC-17 here, as a matter of fact.

12:08: Page 8 is finished, and I am well into threesome territory. How on earth did I get so lucky to be at a school where the culmination of my first year is comparing two books based on the fact that they climax (pun only sort of intended) with a triumvirate? I love my life.

12:35: Almost done with the 10th page, putting off lunch until I reach a stopping point. The things I am writing in this paper shock me. It's fun.

12:45: At the top of the 11th page, I'm sliding into my conclusion. I am so hungry. I want to stop, but I'll never finish if I do. Gaaaaaah.

12:59: The 11th page is full and I haven't finished this thing yet. I had planned on 8-10 pages. This is what block quotes do to you.

1:06: At 12.5 pages, I stop. The ending is trite and I don't care because I'm hungry and maybe someone will help me edit it so that it's better. I am going to eat.

I Feel So Accomplished

2007-05-07T15:35:00.000-04:00

What I have done today:
-put 2 Bookmooch books in the mail, and received 1 Bookmooch book
-picked up and filled out time cards for the entire semester (I have worked almost 100 hours, which means I have a very nice big check coming at long last)
-joined the Communist Party of the United States of America and paid my $12 for the first years' dues. Now the communist party card that I carry in my wallet is completely legit, and will soon be replaced by an official one from the real party. I am beyond proud of myself.

Also I lay under a tree for a while and I plan on getting laundry done. Maybe I'll even work on the paper I have due Wednesday, but I don't know.

I like finals week.

A Strange Education

2007-05-06T01:38:00.001-04:00

Sometimes I really really love my friends. Today represents some of the best as Saturdays go, and yesterday was definitely the cutest day I've ever known, so life is good.

Let's see... woke up early Friday morning to stare at the sunshine and eat breakfast for the first time in weeks, nay months, and then I went to my very very last theater design class. Where we cuddled on the couch, as has become our habit. Those of you who have known me for a while (I'm looking at you, TUMC) know that I am always a fan of 5 or 6 or more people on a couch, so having a class in a room with 2 couches and 11 people is one of the main reasons I love my school. Class ends at 11:50, and it was close to 1 by the time the last of us left the room, such was our cuddling. We ate some lunch and then me and Emma and Rachel went to sit under a dogwood tree and tell each other stories and enjoy the sunshine and warmth and flower petals. It feels so good to sit under a tree in the sun, especially after such a long winter.
I had my very very last probability class at 2:30, and we had pizza and giant cookies with special messages on them, and Kelly came back for the first time since he broke his hip, which made us all so happy. I adore the math department at this school- Ken and Kelly are such funny guys and so full of stories and so passionate and I want to talk about numbers with them forever. I wish I felt this way about the linguistics department. I mean, the linguistics profs are nice enough people, but I don't feel like I really connect with them, or particularly want to connect with them, and they certainly aren't offering any classes that I am remotely interested in. Forget the whining, though, this is about how life is amazing and I adore my friends. I colored pretty pictures in math class because Shannon and Brad were good at figuring out how to make 2 congruent figures out of a single non-symmetrical shape via 1 curve, or at least good at copying from other people, and so I could copy from them and then color the shapes all pretty. Brad had glitter glue in his mohawk, which is pretty much the best thing ever, except that it was this weird "cut out appropriation" day where there was some protest about how appropriating hairstyles like mohawks and dreads is racist, except I think there was also some event going on where you could get a free mohawk? I don't really understand it, nor am I sure how to think about it (I mean, on one hand, I don't want to be insensitive to other cultures, but, on the other hand, it's just a hairstyle)... Noah got himself one of the free 'hawks, and I haven't actually seen it spiked up yet, but I hear that it's pretty exciting. After math, there was some more relaxing and some dinner and Katie and I finally caught up on Ugly Betty (we were 4 weeks behind) and went to the last improv show of the semester (and 4 of the Sluts are leaving, which is so sad) and it was as hilarious as always, and then came more Ugly Betty and the Office and it was a nice night.

But today. Oh my goodness. We had a huge long list of things we wanted to do, and managed about half of them. Katie had to work til 1, and we don't start early anyway, so Sarah and I decided to meet up at Pirates of Penzance and work things out. So, first things first: Pirates of Penzance. Hampshire Musical Theater Collective, you make me a happy girl. Please never stop doing musicals because you are amazing. It was hilarious and wonderful and pirates are great and musicals are great and there are some talented people at this school. From Pirates, Sarah-Megen-Katie-Joanna-me walked back toward the Jew House (running into Emma on the way and promising her a hair dye party that did not happen tonight) and found Sarah's debit card (Katie found it) and Noah and Gideon appeared and we headed off to Amherst, where there was a random book sale going on, and the local comic book shop was not doing Free Comic Book Day (disappointing) and I found out that a "yaaaay" is worth 1/4 of a hug and Judie's had a really long wait so we went to the Amherst Brewing Company for dinner and they sat us immediately. I don't think our seating arrangement was socially optimal, but I guess it worked out okay. I had some pretty good Wurst, though I'm not sure I like ale-roasting or -frying or whatever they did. I like Wurst and Bier, but not necessarily Wurst that taste like Bier. But they were satisfying, and I think everyone had really delicious food, so we were quite happy as we headed off toward the mall for laser tag. It was the 7 of us (although Noah was magically replaced by Gideon's girlfriend) and these 4 random kids who clearly play a lot of laser tag, and it was mostly 2 random kids + 3 or 4 of us on a team, then we went girls v. boys in the final game- i.e. the 4 random kids and Gideon v. the rest of us. The boys beat us like 61 to 30 (the other games were like 40-20, 22-23, and 27-33 or something), but it was SO much fun and we decided that we should buy home laser tag sets and play on campus. So off to Target, where we quickly realized that laser tag sets cost like $30 for 2 guns and a vest, and so we abandoned the idea. Instead, we bought movie snacks and went to the theater to catch Spiderman 3. It was the most wonderfully emo action movie ever, and it made me very happy, although the people sitting behind us made me happier. They laughed at all the right things (like Peter Parker sobbing) and made amazing comments and I want to hang out with them every day. Unfortunately, we did not meet them, but I hope they liked us, too, because Joanna made some nice comments and we were laughing too and I want to be one of the cool kids. The movie lasted forever, as we realized when we got out and it was 12:50 (the movie started at 10:15), so we blasted Disney songs on the ride home and I am waiting for the sugar buzz of my candy to wear off so I can sleep.
Why does the semester have to be ending? Why do we all have to go away for summer?

I Want My Film to Be Beautiful, Not Realistic

2007-04-29T16:55:00.000-04:00

Oh my goodness so much has happened in the past month ahh. How have you been? Are you enjoying the springtime? I am trying, but, every time it's sunny outside, I have all this homework. Then, on the days when I am burnt-out and want to go sit in the sunshine, it rains. Anyway!
I went to New York yesterday. Road trips are CRAZY. Especially when your map doesn't make sense and everyone has a different idea of how fast you should be going and driving in New York is so confusing. I was in Scottie's car, in the lead, (Scottie brought juice boxes and muffins, by the way) and I commend Katie so much for managing to follow us the entire time, and we worked hard to not lose Sharon, but she gave up on us once we got into the city.
We made it there alive, though, and even managed to get all 3 cars to the same place! Then we all split off to eat some food, and Michael was like "guys we have to find this really seedy looking Chinese place where the food's really good and really cheap." So Ted, Katie, Michael and I went off in search of said Chinese place, of which there must have been 128974578943 in 3 blocks (since we were in Chinatown), so we started to check a few out, and settled on one where the menu actually had English on it. Turns out that English on the menu doesn't mean the waitress knows English, so Katie the Vegetarian is sitting there trying to ask for noodles and vegetables, and the waitress gets all confused, and walks away to call someone on the phone. At this point, Ted is like "Katie, you have committed the gravest sin ever. You are going to get killed." Instead, the waitress walks back over and hands the phone to Katie, and we figure out that the person on the other end of the line is supposed to be translating. Except that no one can hear each other. Fortunately, the guy at the other table totally spoke English (and Chinese), and he translated for us. And we got some food. And you know what? It was totally delicious and so so cheap. 4 of us ate so much food for $15 total. And Michael found a duck foot in his soup, so that was pretty awesome, too.
We went to a bakery afterwards and bought delicious things and Michael got this giant Chocolate Roll (which he kept accidentally calling a "chocorate roll" but I assured him that it is very common to transpose similar sounds when they are next to each other, and that he is not a secret racist) and decided that, instead of sharing the chocolate roll with us, he was going to save it and share it with a Girl. Unfortunately, said Girl is vegan, so maybe that will not work out so well for him.
Anyway, our other shopping adventure involved going to Papito Grocery, where I bought the best soda ever for 50 cents. It was so good, I swear. Like orange soda mixed with cream soda and named "fruit champagne" and Katie told me that it is like THE soda in Haiti, which I guess is cool.
Then came the part of the evening where we did the show, which means that I was kind of running around trying to do all the things that are supposed to get done, and we had no dresser, so costumes were that much harder to change (I guess it worked okay?) but the audience seemed to enjoy it, so things were good. The theater was the hottest place I have ever been, and I am usually wearing about 3 layers of things when I am costumed, so that was not pleasant, but I survived.
We wanted to drive back that night as well, so I hopped in Katie's car and we proceeded to get incredibly lost trying to get out of the city. Even though Dorothy had given us directions, and we had followed them as closely as we could (I guess we are bad at that?). Eventually, after driving through a Hasidic neighborhood (which was so very very exciting and we all had our noses glued to the windows because those people are FASCINATING), we pulled off on some random place and Ted got out to ask directions. From the car window, we saw him walk up to the first girl he saw, and she stood there twirling her hair at him and occasionally waving an arm in the direction she thought we should go, and then Ted thanked her, and she walked away, and he turned and walked up the street for a second opinion. And disappeared for a while. Finally, he comes back to the car, bearing a piece of the best pizza I have ever had. Apparently, he found Joe's Pizza Place (seriously it was so good), and asked Joe, the most Italian guy ever, how to get to the interstate, and then he bought a slice of pizza. And Joe gave amazingly colorful directions and we did indeed make it back to 95, much to our joy.
The rest of the trip was relatively smooth, and we got in before 2, where I was amazed to discover that people were all still awake and hanging out, since I felt like it was the dead of night, but then I remembered that Hampshire stays awake on Saturday nights. I slept the sleep of the dead, though, because I was exhausted.

Now, I have to convince myself to finish this lighting design for theater, and do my math homework, and settle on a topic for my child language paper, and work a bit on my Jew paper. I'm not a fan of finals season.

Every Other Memory

2007-04-07T13:30:00.000-04:00

NOLA

The first half of New Orleans pictures. Uncaptioned as yet, but I'll work on it. By which I mean that I hope people will leave entertaining comments on Facebook, and I'll use them as captions.

EDIT: Mostly captioned! Feel free to ask about anything that looks interesting and I will do my best to provide awesome stories!

I Want To Pay Some Other Girl To Just Walk Up and Hit Her

2007-04-03T20:01:00.000-04:00

Boston-Mary!

So Mary came to visit me and she took a bunch of pictures so I have stolen a few for your pleasure. If I ever finish my homework, I'll upload some New Orleans things for you, of which I have a whole whole lot, but they all have to be scanned first.

The Female of the Species

2007-03-28T10:03:00.000-04:00

New Orleans was mind-blowingly amazing. There are about 3 rolls' worth of pictures that we are in the process of getting developed (yes, we did things the old-fashioned disposable camera way) and I will scan and upload them when they come in. Once that happens, I will be better able to tell you the 263498 stories that I have.

Mary's here visiting this week, which is pretty much the best thing ever. She's sleeping on an air mattress on my floor (i.e. taking up all the floor space in my room and making it impossible to walk- the mattress gets picked up the moment she awakens), sometimes going to my classes, sometimes going to Katie's, sometimes hanging out, taking many many trips to Northampton, and Katie is being so so wonderful and taking Mary to all sorts of other places while I go to my 189457 classes and other Things That I Do. I used to be booked solid from 10:30-5:30 every day- that's starting to become more like 10-midnight, and I'm cool with it cause it's (mostly) fun stuff. The Girl Who Fell Through A Hole In Her Sweater (the play I'm sound designing, non-hip-and-with-it kids) opens April 9, so this week is the last push for us designers to get everything done... I got cast yesterday in another play, Yackagdayou, Brateslayou (And Other Such Nonsense), which is about the most awesome group of old people ever- they've been friends since their childhood camp days, and they're these really radical communist types (but weren't ever really involved in the Party) and their stories are so amazing and we're trying our best to do them justice. I'm doing double duty as Elly and Ellie- I had a meeting with Ted (who is playing my husband Davie) yesterday and we called the real Elly and Davie to talk to them- they are hilarious and wonderful and amazing and have the most fun relationship and I am very excited to be portraying them. We're doing a read-through tonight, so that should be great fun.
In non-theater news, life is great, math is fun, linguistics class is not, Jew class is the best ever and I'm already trying to plan my final paper around how this guy is the queer Philip Roth, circa 1958. Because Jews=queers, as I explained in my Yiddish Lit final paper. I keep meaning to write about other things, but I can't avoid it.

So I'm Off

2007-03-17T18:04:00.000-04:00

I'm heading over to Katie's house now, so that we can get to Hartford tomorrow morning, from whence I will be flying to New Orleans. Pray that the weather continues to cooperate- a bunch of people have had flights canceled thanks to this blizzard, but things should be clear enough for tomorrow. I'll be in New Orleans all week, coming back on Saturday, spending Sat night at Katie's, and picking Mary up from the airport on Sunday the 25th so that even more exciting adventures may ensue. If you need me this coming week, call me, as my darling Clara is staying here to cure AIDS and muscular dystrophy via World Community Grid- your computer can save the world in its spare time, too, so you should join.

I haven't really eaten today because SAGA's closed for spring break, so I'm going to figure out where my comrade's padre is so we can get some dinner. See you in a week!

It's a Good Thing

2007-03-16T17:09:00.000-04:00

I'm glad I'm getting out of here on Sunday, and that my flight's not tomorrow. This was taken from my window just now. You can't quite tell how heavy the snow is in this picture, but I will tell you that there was none on the ground at 11:00 this morning, and so, in 6 hours, we have a few solid inches out there. There is a road right in front of that line of trees. You can't see it anymore.

Sickness= More Blogging?

2007-03-06T21:59:00.000-05:00

Probably.

I had the most amazing dream this afternoon while napping, one that I'm still convinced is true.
Every now and then I dream of flying. I wish it weren't so cliche, but there it is. And flying in my dreams is the most perfectly natural act. It's like swimming, really. You push off from the ground, start pulling yourself into the air with your arms. Once you get as high as you want, you can tread the air to stay there- just the lightest of movements keeps you afloat. Movement across the air is as simple as movement across a pool. In the air, everyone is graceful and life feels effortless.

I have these dreams very occasionally. Maybe 3 times in my life. But I remember them. Remember them well.

This one took place at Hampshire, in the springtime. Everything was green and the sun was warm. There had just been a great rain, and there was a giant puddle in a field behind EDH, much as there were giant puddles in my way the last time I walked over there (was it just last Friday?). I had left my bag in my class, started to leave with nothing, as I frequently do in dreams. I noticed, however, and returned to retrieve it. Whoever had closed the class had been kind enough to hang my bag on a hook outside the door, and I took it and exited again. Outside, I saw a group of friends, standing on the other side of the deep puddle-marsh. They waved to me, and I to them, and they beckoned me to join. I had no wish to tread across the deep water, however, and so I handed my bag to someone who was sitting nearby, and took flight. Taking to the sky was the sort of act that's remembered, a trick from earlier in life that makes things easier, but is somehow rarely used. Once I landed, those around me were summarily impressed- they had not ever seen anyone fly. I explained that it is not something everyone can do, but then someone in the group bounced into the air, and then another, and soon a good 3/4 of us were soaring and playing, amazed that Hampshire had managed to bring together exactly the sorts of people who were innately able to fly. I remembered my forgotten bag, flew back to retrieve it, and the dream ended.

When I awoke, I could barely breathe and I was racked with coughing. It was well below freezing outside, and had gotten dark.

I'm still pretty sure I can fly.

2007-03-06T15:04:00.000-05:00

This is what I've written on my wall recently. Just to give you a sense of where my head is. That's Pascal's triangle, calculated to the 21st row by hand, and 2 Philip Roth quotes, one written left-to-right and the other right-to-left. Because right-to-left felt more natural to me today.

That is all.

Children!

2007-03-05T23:46:00.000-05:00

Children!

So on that Friday that I went on the Salem Adventure of Doom, in the morning before the SAoD, my theater design class went to visit some children and milk them of ideas so that we can design an awesome kids' play. And I know my mother loves pictures of children, so these are for you, Mom.

In other news, I am curled up in my death bed with the bird flu. Okay, not that extreme, but I had a crazy fever (and awesome fever dreams) last night, and I've been trying my hardest to cough up a lung today. Good thing Katie brings me orange juice and pizza and quesadillas (and good thing Heather is here with her car to drive Katie to get me these things) or I would be dead for real. Maybe I'll manage to go to class and work tomorrow, maybe not. I have at least written and submitted (via e-mail) the paper due in said class tomorrow, so I am Ahead. I hope.

Wait- what?

2007-02-26T21:42:00.000-05:00

First, pictures from this lovely crazy weekend:

Salem Adventure of Doom and the Oscars

If you really insist, I have a long and crazy story to tell. I've told it many a time. It's best when Sarah and I tell it in tandem. It's probably even better (and highly inappropriate) when Joanna is added to that mix. I do plan on captioning those photos sometime, but today is Monday, which means I had yoga at 8:30, ate breakfast, went to Theater, ate lunch, walked so so far to student employment only to discover that it wasn't 1 yet so they weren't open (meaning I get to go again Wednesday- joy), sat in my room for 45 minutes and stared at the wall because I can't do much more, went to class at 2:30, got out of class at 5:45 (that's 25 minutes after I should), ate dinner, thought I was going to Yiddish but actually went to an audition (so I guess I'm in a play now since I have such an abundance of time? It's an awesome play about Yiddish though so I can't complain) and then Yiddish lasted until 9:30 (it was mostly stories and not language but they were awesome stories) (also I think I might go to Siberia this August) and now I am finally done with my day. So I'm going to make a big diagram of Pascal's triangle on my wall because it soothes me and I'm going to need soothing in the coming months.

UPDATE 10:45: captions done!

Whoa

2007-02-23T22:52:00.000-05:00

On a whim, I'm sitting in a swankier-than-expected hotel in Salem, Massachusetts after the most eventful car ride possible. I've never been happier to see an interstate. I'm surprised how much I associate 95 with home. Salem is the cutest town ever, and we are beyond excited. There will be lots of pictures, I promise.

Snow Patrol

2007-02-14T09:07:00.001-05:00

SNOW DAY

I got up early so I could be the first one to the snow today. To get out before the men come with their shovels and clear the walks. Before there are footprints crossing everywhere and you can't pick which path to follow.

I wasn't the very first one out. Someone was waiting at the bus stop when I went outside. The bus was running, the roads were plowed. One set of tire tracks led into the parking lot. I followed it as long as I could. I didn't want to break more snow than I had to. Reaching the edge of the parking lot, though, I had to create my own path.

Walking on snow that hasn't been walked on yet is like discovering a new world. You know, without a doubt, that no living thing has been there recently. The snow was still falling, hard flakes driven by the wind that stung my face when they hit. The snow held under my feet, not leaving me to sink to the ground. I watched it blow off the roof of the Book Center as I walked toward the garden. The apple trees there are my favorite on campus, all gnarled and twisted. The pond was covered, marked only by the reeds and rocks poking from the snow, otherwise indistinguishable from the ground around it.

I didn't walk very far into the garden. I hate breaking too much snow. I want to leave things undisturbed, let others enjoy them too. I retraced my steps back, only stepping where I had already left footprints. By now, the wind was full in my face and the snow was starting to blind me. The walk home seemed longer than it ever had before.

When I got back to Dakin, the crews were starting to shovel the stoop.

I Know You Miss Me

2007-02-09T01:02:00.001-05:00

But I'm busy. I shall crunch my schedule from this week for you, and maybe you'll understand.

Monday, 5 Feb:
8:12- roll out of bed, pull on clothing
8:25- meet Katie, walk to RCC (halfway across campus)
8:30-Yoga
10:00- buy breakfast (instant oatmeal) at Bridge
10:15- run back to room, change clothes, grab stuff for class
10:22- hurry all the way across campus to EDH
10:30- Collaboration and Problem Solving (theater design) class
11:54- out of class, walk all the way across campus to SAGA for lunch
12:45ish- return to room, review homework for probability, relax
2:20- leave room, walk halfway across campus to Cole Science
2:23- arrive at class early to snag good seat
2:30- Probability
3:50- Class ends punctually, walk other half of campus to EDH
4:05- Mapping Jewish American Generations starts late
5:28- Mapping Jewish American Generations ends late, hurry across campus to SAGA for dinner in biting cold
6:20- return to room, grab stuff for Yiddish, walk short distance to FPH
6:30- Yiddish
7:58- truncated class ends due to only Debi, Nick and I being there
8:50- walk halfway across campus to Bridge
9:00- meeting about New Orleans trip (spring break, to gut houses and such), adjourned with conclusion that another meeting is needed
10:00- retire to Jack's room, eat pie, do crossword
11:00- Fake News
12:00- return to room, e-mail
12:20- sleep
Tuesday, 6 Feb:
9:04- awakened by phone call from Katie, who has to go to UMass to have her (infected) eye examined
9:43- shower, dress, prepare for class
10:23- hop, skip, jump to ASH
10:30- Child Language
11:59- return to room, wait for phone call update from Katie
1:17- Katie returns from Ordeal
1:22- go to lunch
2:05- walk to library, pick up movie for Jew screening, get crossword puzzle
2:31- read play for theater, crossword, do nothing of intense consequence
6:00- dinner
6:40- relax
6:55- walk to FPH bearing video
7:00- fiddle with projector
7:05- professor talks about television
7:08- begin movie
8:46- movie concludes, fiddle with projector, return to room
8:48- relax, e-mail
9:30- hall meeting
9:40- decide to go to Katie's room
9:45- write paper for Jew class
10:20- hang out
11:00- Fake News
12:11- sleep
Wednesday, 7 Feb
8:28- rise and shine, throw on clothing, walk halfway across campus to Aaron's office
8:55- talk to Aaron's secretary, realize that I missed a voicemail saying that he cannot meet with me this morning but would noon be okay, smile pleasantly
9:00- silent scream to empty campus in frozen air
9:09- sit in room, try to make oatmeal via kettle, fail once again
9:51- shower
10:18- walk all the way across campus to EDH
10:30- Collaboration and Problem Solving
11:40- become Sound Designer for class play
12:05- arrive at Aaron's office
12:08- Aaron arrives at Aaron's office, meeting ensues
12:30- leave Aaron's office, call Katie, lunch
1:56- return to room, breathe, print paper for Jew class, let Dulcey use printer
2:12- leave room, walk to library
2:15- post office
2:18- return movie
2:21- arrive at probability, snag good seat
2:30- Probability
3:50- Probability ends punctually, walk to Bridge, buy apple schorle, walk to EDH
4:00- Mapping Jewish American generations
5:22- Jew class ends slightly more punctually, walk across campus to dorm
5:30- SAGA, dinner
6:15- Katie's room, try to squeeze in an episode of Top Design on internet
7:25- walk to FPH
7:30- panel on Iraq war by 3 professors from the 5 colleges
8:15- panelists open to questions of varying skill and interest
9:20- panel ends, walk to library
9:25- arrive at meeting early, snag mediocre seats
9:30- meeting about New Orleans makes a few decisions but not many
9:59- library about to close, meeting adjourns, hurry back to Dakin
10:03- find lounge, begin search for Bravo
10:07- discover that many channels have been deleted from flipping on tv, fix, find Bravo (channel 57)
10:08- watch Top Design, feel complete
11:00- Fake News
12:05- collapse, sleep or something like it
Thursday, 8 Feb
9:56- awaken to alarm for first time in days
10:01- shower
10:23- walk to ASH
10:30- Child Language, look at pictures of babies
11:50- walk to SAGA, eat lunch
12:50- return to room
12:54- leave room, walk to Yiddish Book Center
12:59- meet with Nora
1:02- meet Aaron, confirm that I am working for 4 different departments at the same time (somehow)
1:09- meet with Randi, begin training
1:20- begin entering visitor book information into computer
2:30- move from Randi's computer to work-study computer
5:07- receive "where are you" text from Katie
5:13- leave work
5:17- return to room, gather laundry
5:24- begin laundry
5:53- go to SAGA, eat dinner
6:30- return to laundry room
7:59- complete laundry, run upstairs
8:02- commence cookie party with My Name Is Earl
8:30- The Office
8:55- get final load out of dryer
9:00- Scrubs
9:30- 30 Rock
10:00- Anderson Cooper 360 Mourns Anna Nicole Smith
10:30- The Sarah Silverman Show
11:00- Fake News
12:03- return to room, make bed
12:20- commence blogging
1:05- finally sleep

Marzipan

2007-01-18T16:06:00.000-05:00

I decided to begin eating my Milka Marzipan bar today, but I wanted to savor every single experience this chocolate bar offers. The crinkle of the foil as I unwrap it, the firm bar itself, caressing its sections with my fingers, that finest-on-earth smell of almonds and chocolate and sugar that makes my mouth water. I could just sit here and smell it forever.... carefully breaking one section off and wrapping the rest for later, holding the chocolate in my mouth as I type, nearly exploding as my saliva rushes up to greet the familiar taste, as the cocoa melts away and dissolves into my mouth. I nibble, wanting to make this moment last as long as I can, pulling away tiny layers of bittersweet chocolate before I reach the marzipan I so long for. I suck at the chocolate, afraid that biting will ruin everything, pulling the whole square into my mouth. Then it happens, the chocolate gives way to marzipan underneath and I close my eyes in ecstasy, carefully chewing that paste which makes my world go 'round.

Umbrella Chasing

2007-01-18T01:32:00.000-05:00

Stepping off the bus at the University of Massachusetts's Amherst campus, I had little trouble finding the library, a 26-story brick tower standing above a long, still-unfrozen pond where the Canada geese who have been migrating much slower this winter were flocking, filling the air with their honks as I slipped through the automatic doors and moved to the elevator. A quick glance at the directory told me that I'd want the 11th floor, and I pushed the up button.
"Here they are, two North Americans, a man and a woman just over and just under forty, come to spend their lives in Mexico and already lost as they travel cross-country over the central plateaus." (Harriet Doerr, Stories for Ibarra)
I love libraries, always have. Because UMass's library is so huge, you can get lost much more easily. Another girl got out of the elevator on the same floor as me, but I didn't see her again, although I spent over an hour wandering the rows, carefully pulling the books I had listed, taking them to the desk where I had set up camp, casting off coat, scarf, hat, mittens, and then copied the first lines of each book down into my notebook, taking care not to miss a word, and not to read beyond the sentence I copied.
"As soon as the Ford Touring car crossed the St. Paul city limits on April 20, 1934 ("You Are Leaving St. Paul, Minn., Home of the Inlagd Sill Herring Festival, Please Visit Us Again!"), and passed into the great, square-upon-square expanse of the surrounding farmland, Bena jotted down the odometer reading with the golf pencil she kept in the ashtray: 5,434." (Heidi Julavit, The Mineral Palace)
My mind drifted back to the Girl with the Red Umbrella as I pondered my own first sentence. I knew she'd feature in my book. I knew that she'd come to represent the obsession that would drive my characters, who would start lingering in public spaces each time it rained, searching the crowds for that flash of color, unsure what to do should She appear again.
"A freakishly August-like afternoon in May of that year, Mark Singer stands overheated and spattered with light at the altar of the Episcopal church on Third, makes his vows to Olivia Stavros, turns and lifts the gauzy veil from her face." (David Long, The Falling Boy)
It was sunny today. The first such day in a while. Sunny, and bitterly cold. I spent a lot of time at bus stops, still learning the Wintersession schedule, which is infrequent and less convenient than usual. It makes me think about last year, waiting at the bus stop in the bitter cold, by myself. Maybe that's why I wanted to speak German so much today. I think my first novel should be in Yiddish.
"One afternoon, three years after the beginning of the new century, red dust that was once rich mountain soil quivers in the air." (Hari Kunzru, The Impressionist)
Katie read somewhere that people with attention disorders are more creative because they see the world as many disconnected parts and thus have an easier time combining the pieces to make something new. I've never had trouble focusing. I'm the most rational, logical person I know. I don't enter anything without careful consideration. Hence today's research. Rather than sitting down, letting a few words fly out, calling it the first sentence of my debut novel and being done with it, I decided to see how other authors began their foray into the literary world. I chose books I've never read, books I know nothing about. Many of the sentences intrigued me, offering me a whole story in their implications, laying a framework for what was sure to come.
"Some nights she still goes over every detail, beginning with the weather and proceeding to the drop of blood on the sheet- her quick wish for a man with straight white teeth and red lips- and then his arrival." (Elizabeth Hay, A Student of Weather)
I closed every book after reading the first sentence. Closed it, took it back to the shelf, replaced it among the hundreds of other volumes that I'll never open, never know. Hundreds of roads I'll not explore, hundreds of lives I'll never touch, hundreds of girls walking away from the mailbox, umbrellas swinging in unison with their singular gait.
"We used to stay in bed most of the weekend, Hugo and I, when we lived in the attic of a rambling house with pinnacles and gables, among chestnut trees, on the edge of a park in South London." (Nuala O'Faolain, My Dream of You)
A girl was reshelving books while I was working. I was embarrassed to put books back if she could see me. I feel like it's against library etiquette. They have one special shelf for the books you've picked up, as if you're not smart enough to put the number written on the spine back in order with all the others, as if PS3559.8715 R63 is a code that only the specially trained can decipher, and not simply a label to be put in numerical and alphabetical order with all the rest. When I had a book to replace on the aisle she was working on, I slipped it onto her little cart, hoping she wouldn't notice the sudden addition. I'm certain she did.
"You should have seen us when we had our act together, top of our game, toast of the town, walking and talking miracles and- you'd better believe it- the real American thing." (P. F. Kluge, Biggest Elvis)
My bus came at 5:25. I had hoped to catch the 4:45, but I'd only written down 7 or 8 sentences by that point, and I needed more time. I didn't find the 25 books I'd intended, but was forced to stop at 21. I spent at least 7 minutes waiting at the bus stop. Time for 1 or 2 more sentences. Time to figure out the winning formula. Time to determine if the most interesting titles really do lead to the most unassuming first sentences, with the plain titles pouring life and tension and interest into the space before that first period. Instead, I stood in the cold until I could return to Hampshire, eat dinner, go to Yiddish class, do all the things that continually keep me from writing.
"Mike always teased me about my memory, about how I could go back years and year to what people were wearing on a given occasion, right down to their jewelry or shoes." (Ann Packer, The Dive from Clausen's Pier)
I don't write fiction. I don't write poetry. I don't write plays or movies or stories or any of the other things that spring from the imagination. I write about the things that happen to me and that I cause to happen. I embellish to make it sound well, to make the sentences line up nicely on the page, to please whatever meager aesthetics I possess. Were I ever to write a novel (which would be nice to accomplish), it will have to arise from the things I have known. And so I return to the image that I've been carrying around, red umbrella, mailbox, antiques store, fog, mountains, feverish typing, cold, puddles, sleep, dreams. My first sentence.

"She'd never seen the antiques store on Pleasant Street open before, but, then again, she rarely walked this far from the center of town, and wouldn't have today if the mailman hadn't come so early, forcing her to walk to the post office to mail that letter, which had to arrive by Tuesday or everything would be ruined."

Out of Order

2007-01-16T18:31:00.000-05:00

Last night, I printed off 18 Out of Order signs. Today, I posted them around school, hoping to cause mass social breakdown and general mayhem. Tomorrow, I plan on taking pictures of whatever signs are still up.
Things I put an out of order sign on today:
1. The shower, just before I stepped into it to take a shower. (Later, Jack showed up, saw the sign and said "What! Not the good shower!" He knows that I am doing this prank today, but is still unsure if the shower works or not.)
2. Jack. At dinner, he ate the sign, which I think proves my point.
3. The bus stop.
4. Scotties's post office box.
5. The inside of an elevator at the library, over the button for the first floor. (I put it in when riding up. When I went to return down in the same elevator, someone had moved the sign away from the buttons. I replaced it.)
6. The outside of the other elevator on the third floor.
7. A container of napkins at the Bridge.
8. A bench in the middle of a field.
9. Somebody's bicycle parked outside of the Funky Party House.
10. The mirror in a bathroom inside the Funky Party House.
11. Alex's crock-pot. (It'll probably be a while before he finds this one.)
12. The television in the lounge of hall J3.
13. A sign pointing to the dining hall.
14. The chocolate milk dispenser in the dining hall.
15. Some graffiti on the outside of the dorms about how you shouldn't join the military, which has already been responded to with some paper signs about how graffiti is not cool.
16. An emergency phone.
17. A dish-rack in the bathroom of G2.
18. My hall's balcony door, on the outside coming in.

What Providence, What Divine Intelligence

2007-01-16T16:27:00.000-05:00

I'm wrapped up quite thoroughly in the process of Finding Myself and of learning Yiddish these days. I'm also busy trying to have strange adventures to make my friends wonder. In any case, expect a shift in the sorts of things you read here. Also, enjoy a few days worth of back-posts that have just been discovered by leading scholars.

My Rainbow World

2007-01-15T16:35:00.000-05:00

I colored a map of the world today, color-coding it based on my feelings towards visiting various places. I'm not very discriminating when it comes to visiting things, really. I'm kind of restless, so, after coloring the few little green (places I've been) bits I could manage (and I'm selfish enough to divide my own country into states but nobody else's), I just kind of scribbled everything in with my yellow marker (places I'd like to visit). Except Brazil. I hate Brazil. And Uruguay is hardly worth my attention, so it's red too. (Everyone should go to Rio at some point, though, so I gave Rio a little purple dot) Then I felt kind of guilty at the monochromatism of the whole thing, so I decided that the very very northern regions of some areas could maybe be red too.

And then I looked at it for a while, and decided that another level of information was in order. Yellow means "it would be cool if I went here at some point," sure, but I decided to add a purple layer for "these are places I am honestly interested in visiting, rather than just having an insatiable need for Newness." And then I started adding stripes to places that are somewhere between yellow and purple, and stripes to places I have been but should go again (I need to make a serious trip to Italy and France because I have only spent a few days in each of these places and there's a whole lot more to see. Ditto to Austria, except I need to see the cities and not the mountains next time I'm there.)

A lot of the purple turned kinda brownish over yellow, so I enhanced it with Adobe Photoshop Image-Editing Software.

Yes, Japan is red too. I don't have anything against Japan, but I have a whole lot against silly Americans who are obsessed with Japan and silly Japanese people who are obsessed with America. So my refusal to visit is sort of a collective "screw you" to those people, as is my general ignoring of Japanese culture.

Purging

2007-01-15T00:13:00.000-05:00

Sometimes we hold on to things that we like long past their use to us, just because they make us smile. Today, looking in my sock drawer, I realized that I have a pair of socks that no longer have any heels. These socks are neon green, and each depicts a vampire playing the upright bass, and they have little non-slip music notes on the other side. They're thick, fuzzy on the inside, so warm, which is why they've been worn through- I wore them frequently last year on my long walks to school, their thickness keeping my toes from freezing as I trod through the snow. I've clung to them, certain that, even in their lack of a heel, they are still useful to me. They still make me smile. I feel Hallowe'enly festive when I put them on, although I usually forget to wear them on Hallowe'en.

But they're past their prime. Their time has come. I walked down the hall to the trash can, carefully spread them out from the tight ball I keep them in, and dropped them in, never to be seen again.

The Girl With the Red Umbrella

2007-01-13T01:48:00.000-05:00

Today was a good day to find True Love, and so I set out to gaze at every person I encountered, hoping to find a special connection. For hours, wandering the streets of Northampton, (I was there to buy a birthday cake for Jack) I saw nothing of interest- the same sorts of people I always see, middle-aged parents, young ne'er-do-wells, the elderly, silly college girls. I spent hours wondering, what would I do when I saw my true love- how would I recognize him or her? Would music play? Would s/he glow? Would we make eye contact and be transported to some field of flowers?
But none of this happened. My errands completed, I returned to the bus stop, where I sat and mused on just what to do should I see my true love. Then I got distracted by my Hebrew-English dictionary, which of course always lives in my purse. As I flipped through it, Katie suddenly said "What if it's her?" I looked up. Standing at the mailbox, scant yards from me, She slipped a letter into the box. Well, she fumbled a bit with it, making a face when she finally got the mailbox to work. She was dressed in a long black coat, and, as I watched her, something in me paused. I wasn't sure what. She stepped back from the mailbox. She turned. Swinging by her side, a bright red umbrella. Bright red like the bag I carry. We matched almost, black coats, red accessories. She walked down the street. I followed her with my eyes to the antique store, a store whose hours are "by chance," according to the sign on the door. She went in. I wondered if I had enough time to jump up, run after her, ask her name, her age, anything. She came out of the antique store. She headed to the corner, pressed the button for the pedestrian crossing light. The light changed. She disappeared, red umbrella swinging at her side. I stared down the street until my bus came, my failure sinking in. I boarded the bus. I watched the fog embrace the mountains as I rode home. Once there, I stared out the window until Jack decided it was time to eat cake and watch Rammstein music videos. But the girl with the red umbrella haunted me. Around 11:30, Katie and I headed for Debi's birthday party at Mod 65, where I failed to find any sort of true love, although Megen and I had fun discussing uses for the lounge on the hall we plan to share next year, and I gave Noah my Heartstring and tried to trap Scottie under some fake mistletoe. When we'd had enough of Jello shots and awkward dancing, we I left that mod for the kosher mod, and I eventually walked back to my dorm in the rain, alone, thinking about a red umbrella and a girl who makes cute faces, and how we could have held hands and how she'd giggle when I said something funny. How we'd be extra-delicate about avoiding puddles, and then jump into a really big one just before we reached my door, just for the satisfaction of peeling sopping wet pants off before climbing into a warm bed.

INSOMNIA

2006-12-24T00:37:00.000-05:00

I just spent like 10 minutes brushing my teeth just because I don't want to be asleep yet. Fortunately, Emily is making my night better by finally having pictures from Debi's amazing Turkish party. I share because I care:

Turkish Dinner

Dinner and Silly Hats!

2006-12-06T00:29:00.000-05:00

mod 40 dinner and silly hats party

So I went to an awesome dinner at the kosher mod on Saturday, and then Debi dragged a bunch of us to an awesome silly hats party afterwards, and then I didn't sleep for a really long time (which is entirely Alex's fault) and then I went shopping with Noah and Sarah and Katie and then we went to Debi's house and played dreidel and I won big ($1.64) and we watched the Frisco Kid (funny funny movie) and I got home at like 1:30 (damn you Debi and your tendency to make people stay at your apartment until all hours of the night) and I slept and slept and slept and woke up and met with Rachel about my paper (a few minutes late cause I overslept but it was Debi's fault) and thought about homework but got distracted by fixing my Turkish costume and I went to Spanish and I went to the Bridge and I went to my Yiddish movie and then I ran into Alex and we went over to the kosher mod to eat the quiche that Noah made and pick up Alex's bike and I gave Alex some Bonine because I just happened to have it and he needed it and then I honestly thought about homework but I didn't quite get to it. This morning I woke up at 8:30 because Alex and I decided to have a breakfast date so he could go to the doctor, and it snowed! We got happy at the snow (he less excited than me because he's from Minnesota and snow is not quite as special) and ended up eating breakfast for like 2 hours because then Katie showed up and then Jack and we only left because they had class and then Alex and I hung out for a while (did not do homework) until he had to go to the doctor and then I revised one paper before lunch and then we ate lunch and then Alex and I somehow made 3 hours disappear and have no idea how but it was time for me to go to the ERP lab and Erik hooked me up to a machine with electrodes and I did a fancy test of some sort or another and he read my brain waves and I made $10 and it was fun. Came back and talked to Katie and then Alex wanted dinner so we got dinner and then we decided it was really and truly time to do homework, and since we obviously get nothing done in my room, we went to the bridge, where we discovered free nachos and milkshakes. So we ate and drank and did very little homework (I got like 2 paragraphs of Spanish written in 3 hours, Alex got like 1 paragraph of English, I'm not sure how much Katie accomplished) and then it was time to get the chili going because Alex and I are making chili for my Spanish class tomorrow (it being the last class and thus fiesta) and then I went to Katie's room and Alex went somewhere else and somehow I accomplished in half an hour sans Alex exactly as much as I accomplished in 3 hours with Alex, which does not bode well for either of us learning much Spanish (we have Jan Term and Spring Spanish together). So I stole Sarah's exciting pictures to share and I need some sleep now.

Welcome To Hampshire Post-Thanksgiving!

2006-11-29T01:04:00.000-05:00

My friends, it is final paper season at Hampshire College. For those of you who think a school lacking both tests and grades must be a rather pleasant place to be toward the end of the semester, you are all kinds of wrong. I present you these lovely pictures of Jack and Katie working on the myriad final projects and papers that must be completed, and evidence of my own work.

In this picture, you will notice a very long color-coded list of notes on my wall. This is how I research things. Ideally, my wall would be a white board, and I could cover it with the various things I find in books and draw arrows and underline things and feel important. Instead, I make lists and try to pretend it’s enough. That list is for my WWWII paper, which is about Germans.

This picture shows an awful lot of books. These are the books I currently have out from the library, and I will give you a complete list, so that you may understand my life.
Left pile:
Ethnic Drag
A Traveler Disguised
Adventures in Yiddishland
Queer Jews
Between Men: English Literature and Male Homosocial Desire
Eros and Jews
The Collected Stories of Isaac Bashevis Singer
Queer Theory and the Jewish Question
Unheroic Conduct
People of the Body
Novel Gazing: Queer Readings in Fiction
(pile of papers is an article called Queer Yiddishkeit: Theory and Practice)
Another copy of the Collected Stories of Isaac Bashevis Singer because I got confused once
The paper at the bottom is my Yiddish syllabus
Right pile:
Hitler’s War and the Germans
Tagebuchblaetter (Diary pages)
Ich glaube an den Fuehrer (I believe in the Fuehrer)
My planner
Copies of the Dybbuk and God of Vengeance
Shiksa: the Gentile Woman in the Jewish World
Books and Bombs in Buenos Aires: Borges, Gerchenouff and Argentine-Jewish Writing
The Jewish Gauchos of the Pampas
Outwitting History
The Intelligent Woman’s Guide to Socialism and Capitalism
Notebooks from 2 classes
A really giant pile of things I either have read for Yiddish or need to read for Yiddish because the general homework doesn’t stop in the midst of writing a paper
Also I guess there’s a copy or two of the Omen cause they got mixed up in there

Sure, I love my life. I’m 5 pages into my 15 page Yiddish paper, and have used exactly 1/3 of the notes I took from all my research, so I’m confident, if I can only find the time to finish the paper (and the mental stability). My WWWII paper is at 7 pages and needs to be 10, so there’s some editing to do there, but not until after Thursday (when the draft of the Yiddish paper is due). I will get through because I actually have way less work than most people (due to very good planning on my part) but giant piles of books scare and excite me.

Hey Dog Lovers!

2006-11-27T11:36:00.000-05:00

Do you have the sort of dog who likes to wear bandannas? Want me to make one for your beloved pooch? Just let me know how big Fluffy's neck is and I'll gladly knit up a pretty little bandanna just in time for putting under your Hanukkah Bush or Christmas Tree or Ramadan Shrubbery.

(My e-mail is oneseventy@gmail.com and I am totally serious about making a whole lot of dog bandannas, so let me know!)

The Gathering of the Gazlonim

2006-11-26T23:19:00.000-05:00

Hotzmakh's Shpiel

So Emily took various exciting pictures of the Magic Mirror Gazlonim at our various post-performance parties, and I share with you, beloved readers, because you seem to enjoy looking at pictures of me.

I'm a Nerd

2006-11-26T11:15:00.000-05:00

If your life had a soundtrack, what would it be?

-------------------------

So, here's how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...just type it in man!

-------------------------

Opening Credits: Shake Me Baby (Junior Senior)

Waking Up: Close to Me (The Cure)

First Day At School: Poison Pill (Raised by Wolves)

Falling In Love: Summer Cannibals (Patti Smith)

Fight Song: Support System (Liz Phair)

Breaking Up: Shake Me Baby (Junior Senior)

Formal: Hot Hot Hot!!! (The Cure)

Life: Robin & Marian (Nickel Creek)

Mental Breakdown: I'll Go Crazy (Andy Griggs)

Driving: Ordinary Love (Stew)

Flashback: Friday I'm in Love (Dryden Mitchell)

Getting Back Together: Someone Else's Star (Bryan White)

Wedding: Me and Mia (Ted Leo and the Pharmacists)

Birth of first child: Puerto Madero (Kevin Johansen)

Final Battle: Sunday Bloody Sunday (U2)

Death Scene: Bicycle Race (Queen)

Funeral Song: Wearing a Raincoat (They Might Be Giants)

Credits: Wave on Wave (Pat Green)

I'm so impressed by what my party shuffle managed that I am going to make this an actual playlist, and I will gladly burn a cd of it for anyone who wants.

This Shall Be Insane

2006-11-22T12:10:00.000-05:00

BUT SO AMAZING

Come one come all!

Somewhere Only We Know

2006-11-21T23:31:00.000-05:00

Wow it's been a while oopsies. But I've had a ton going on so I hope you're ready. Basically, I've been living at the Yiddish Book Center doing sound cues for the play. The amazing wonderful play put on by so many talented people who I love to death and directed by the most organized awesome person in the world Debi. Tuesday and Wednesday were rehearsals, during which I learned to hit the thunder button at the right time and got to sit around and watch these great actors doing these great hilarious lines and be in awe for a while. Then came the first performance on Thursday, meaning more of Kari being mesmerized and a lot of me standing around giving people a thumbs-up while they ran around looking really stressed. And then some hanging-out in the kosher mod because 4/5 kosher modites are involved with the play and we love the kosher mod anyway and they fed us food. Also I guess Thursday was Hampshire Thanksgiving so there was like turkey and stuff for dinner and it was fancy but I ignored most of it because of the play? Ummm I slept late Friday and was sad that I missed the guest speaker in world war ii class but I was sleepy and had been up late and I need sleep sometimes. And I did go to Sound Patterns and I wasn't sure what to do with myself on the night without the play, but then I remembered that I have friends and hobbies and I ended up watching Full Metal Jacket with Jack and Katie cause Jack really wanted to watch it and then I went and slept forever because I was still quite tired. Saturday brought a lot of hanging around while Jack and Katie did homework (but not me!) and also some going to Northampton to shop and finding out that it was "Bag Day" in which you go into any store with this special bag and you can buy one item for 20% off so I bought a hat and a book. And then came another performance of the play for an audience that was really awesome (love that audience) and it was taped and the Hotzmakhs were so on that night and it was great and I was mesmerized again. And we decided kind of spur of the moment that the cast party that had been planned months ago when Saturday was the last night should go forward in spite of the people who were hosting it not being at all prepared to host. But we put the party on hold to go look at a meteor shower first, except it was cloudy, so we stood in the bleachers at the soccer field and someone made an impassioned speech about Jewish Football (Abandonment!) and then it was cold and Debi said "Guys! Warmth and wine!" and so we returned to warmth and wine and Scottie tried to get us to play Props but she failed at finding interesting enough props although I did get a really awesome tree hat that I'm sure pictures exist of and maybe I'll find them soon. And then we played charades until like 4 in the morning or something because charades is pretty cool and I am pretty good at guessing things in Charades because I can read minds. I slid home at some ungodly hour and slept forever and Sunday meant sleeping and then heading over to the Bridge where I ran into Alex and we realized that we only ever see each other in food related contexts, which we are pretty okay with, except that we're taking Spanish together Jan term and Spring semester and that means that we're going to see each other in non-food contexts and we aren't sure our relationship is ready for that but I'm sure we'll survive. Umm I guess Alex made chili Sunday night and so we ate his chili (he makes chili a lot and it is delicious) and watched the last half of Robin Hood Men in Tights because it was on tv and then Jack and I did laundry and then Katie and Jack and I watched the Princess and the Warrior and then it was time to sleep again. Monday was spent sleeping in and working crosswords and packing and getting lots of books from the library for my Yiddish paper and then came the play and there were some intense worries when Austin didn't show up and didn't show up and then it was 5 minutes before the house opened and finally Nick found Austin (in Chinese class of all places) and Debi didn't have to play Bobe Yakhne and all was good. Jack managed to see the play Monday, in an audience that was more students than other people (as opposed to the other two nights) and we successfully got the audience to sing the magic song and when it was over we managed to get things cleaned up before 9. Then there was piling in cars and an attempt to go to the Amherst Brewing Company, only to discover that it is far too full on Monday night for our party of 15 or so. Some quick thinking by either Scottie or Debi or both meant that we adjourned to Chili's and then Scottie had to leave and we were sad and then a whole bunch of other people showed up and there were some sailors across the way and then Scottie returned and then all sorts of fascinating conversation happened and Debi ordered some brightly colored drinks and then we had the fun of getting the 20 or so people we were to all contribute to a single check and get enough money and then we did and we left because Chili's wanted to close so it was back to Debi's apartment (Scottie only got a little lost on the way there and we only mocked Dan a little bit when we thought Scottie was driving right and Dan wrong and then we felt a little ashamed and then we had a dance party in Scottie's car when we thought we were there before Debi but we weren't and so we felt silly again) for beer and playing with Debi and Nick's lizard and discovering that Dan knows most of the "Would You Rather" book and that some people come up with really disturbing "Would You Rathers" and then Debi and I had a conversation in Yiddish and German (she Yiddish I German) and then Sara and Noah and Debi and I and maybe some other people started planning to go see A Night in the Old Marketplace when it happens because it will be exciting and then Nick did his turtle impression and all sorts of other fun things happened and then Scottie had to leave briefly and then Dan and some folks left and then some flower vases fell over and then we thought Scottie was coming back a few times but it was Debi's drunken neighbors and then Nick told the story of their soundproof bedroom and getting locked out of his own apartment and having to pry the chain from the door while Debi slept and then Scottie got pulled over and we were mildly concerned for her but she persevered and made it back and picked up all of us but Sara and Noah, who claimed they would walk home, although I hear that they ended up staying up all night with Debi and only leaving when Nick got up for work. And I came home and was too wound up to sleep and finally I did (fitfully) at like 4 and then I woke up at 7:22 (unintentionally) and pulled myself out of bed and showered and had breakfast and met with Aaron and Katie's mom took me to the train station and I got on some tiny little one-car train with a lot of old people and they crammed us in at a lot of tiny train stations until we got to New Haven where we got a real train and they crammed lots of people onto it and it somehow managed to get an hour and a half behind schedule and I have no idea how and so I missed my first train in Philadelphia but I caught the one an hour later and got to Atlantic City where Aunt Barbara and Candice were waiting for me and we went to the mall and bought Candice a coat and now I am settled in here and I kind of miss Hampshire people already. Also I am really really tired but can't quite bring myself to sleep.

Happy Registration Day!

2006-11-13T19:24:00.000-05:00

Today is Hampshire College Spring Semester Registration Day! By which I mean that every Hampshire College student is clogging the Hub trying to get into that popular class. My registration time was 10:30, which means I spent from 10:31-10:57 on the Hub trying to make it (a) log me in (b) find the classes I want (c) let me select the classes I want and then maybe MAYBE (d) actually register me for said classes. I had no issues getting Spanish and Meaning and Philosophy of Language and Mapping Jewish American Generations (this is a maybe class because I have like 13 other classes that I might want to take) but Ever Since Darwin, the NS class I want (and I have to take a Natural Science in the Spring) was full and already had 2 people on the waitlist and I was sad so I got on its waitlist and signed up for Adolescent Development, and I have since found out that Dulcey and Lianne are totally also in Adolescent Development, but I want to try to get into Darwin still. But whooo S07 classes!

I am taking Spanish this JanTerm, of course, and I found out that Alex is totally in my Spanish class, so we're both very happy about having friendses there.

Ummmm life proceeds. I was sick this weekend and basically didn't leave my bed or shower for 4 days except I did leave to eat except when Katie made me soup (I love Katie and don't love Jack cause Jack is not sympathetic at all) but now I have to continue with life cause I have a paper due Wednesday and Debi's play is this week (I am doing sound cues for it) so I'm busy Tuesday-Thursday and Saturday nights with that. So Hampshire people come see the Magic Mirror it will be great!!

Shadowboxer

2006-11-09T22:41:00.000-05:00

We played Apples to Apples last night (after running around in the rain for a few hours so that I am now sick- although Alex apparently gave me the Sickness and the rain just made it worse) and I want to share a few highlights.

Adjective: chewy. Judge: Katie. My noun: milk.
Adjective: luscious. Judge: Jack. My noun: men.
Adjective: addictive. Judge: Jack. Katie's noun: steak and potatoes. My noun: having a baby.
I also pulled the classic "comical- Helen Keller" moment, and there were more than a few nice little Holocaust moments because the Holocaust always wins.
Quote (Katie speaking to Jack): "So you're saying Michael Jordan is more shallow than a chimpanzee?"

And so a normal evening with us passes. Tonight, I want to die a little because I am getting sick, but I'll get over it.

Also, I have a job in the form of counting cars and noting the race and such of the driver to help the Amherst police department figure out if they're doing racial profiling, and I'm going to sell my brain waves to science as well because that is a great way to make some cash, so I'm kind of excited about both of those things.

Pillow Fiiiiiight!!

2006-11-03T13:37:00.000-05:00

So we had this big Dakin v. Merrill pillow fight on Tuesday, and it was really awesome. Like you have no idea how cool it is to go outside and beat lots and lots of people with pillows unless you have done it. And some people took pictures, I guess, so here are some for you to enjoy.

Pillow Fight

After the pillow fight, I went to a Decemberists concert, and the Decemberists dress like ninjas when you go to their concert on Hallowe'en, which is sweet. They also have a completely unfair and totally arbitrary costume contest, which was won by a really great chimney sweep (like so great) and also featured a Shankill Butcher from the wrong century, a crane, Jackie Kennedy and Jesus. I adore this town.

Happy Hallowe'en!

2006-10-29T01:44:00.000-05:00

So last night was Hampshire Hallowe'en, which is the hugest party in the universe. As in the entire Valley tries to get on to our campus, but we run it like reverse East Berlin and limit the crazies to 4 per Hampshire person. Katie and I decided it would be cool to dress in theme, so I was Elton John and she was William Shakespeare. I found the absolute best purple paisley silk fabric and made a pretty sweet costume of which nearly no pictures exist. Katie did a great job with hers, too, and carried around the skull of Freddie Mercury, which unfortunately just made people think she was Hamlet. Jack decided to use his crazy uniform fetish and be an East German border guard, which apparently every person ever thinks is a Nazi, even though the two uniforms look nothing alike (as in aren't even the same color you crazies). I told him his name was Gottfried Burghart Johannes Friedrich, but he said it was Senor Misterioso, and then I said it was Herr Gottfried Burghart Johannes Friedrich Misterioso, and then he said no, and then I called him Hans all night.
Some of our festivities included watching some great bellydancing, watching our awesome circus be really awesome (things they do: pretty pretty contact juggling, super-neat stilt-walking/dancing things, awesome acrobatic dances, subversive clowns, eating glass) and then some fire-performer-types do a show with fire that was really neat, and then some fireworks that were so pretty, and then eating candy, and then seeing the freak show that Necronomicon put together (they had some sweet freaks like a Wolfman and a Fishgirl and a Clay Man and a Batperson and others) and then we met a S'mores fairy who worried us a little so we did not eat her S'mores (but coming across a fairy in the middle of a dark garden offering S'mores with no one around is pretty sweet) and then we saw a person sitting in a big pile of leaves so Jack went and jumped on her (literally) and we made a new friend and played in the leaves for a really long time. Leaves are awesome. We came in as it started to rain a bit, since we had no interest in any of the 10 or so concerts going on around campus, and watched the Princess Bride because Katie had never seen it, and sometime really late I fell asleep in Katie's bed, not trusting my own hall to be free of revelers when I wanted to sleep (Jack says it was after all). We slept in until after noon today, of which we are proud, and we eventually made it to Northhampton because Jack needed a toothbrush, but we spent more time eating things than anything else. Jack did get his toothbrush, though, and some crackers, and a shirt at the thrift store, and I bought handsoap for the bathroom cause handsoap is good to have. We watched Hair tonight and made fun of it constantly and laughed at Jack because he hates musicals with a passion and this is not a good musical, either. Jack took some pictures of Hallowe'en and is trying to get them to me but his computer is all "no!" so I'll do what I can to share the good ones with you, and 10 billion other people took so many pictures, so I'll steal their good ones and share them, too.

In Bed

2006-10-25T09:56:00.000-04:00

Sunlight is breaking through my window
Robbing me of my precious sleep
I don't want to
But I got to
Wake up and clear my head
Make some coffee, toast some bread
But I think I'd rather spend the day in bed

I don't want to get up today
I just wanna stay in bed
My feet feel like they're made out of clay
My head wishes I were dead
I just want to sleep in, okay?
Just let me lie here half-asleep

Summer's gone
Days spent with the grass and sun
I don't mind
To pretend I do seems really dumb
I rise as the morning comes
Crawling through the blinds
I shouldn't be up at this time
But I can't sleep with you there by my side
Wake up, it's a beautiful morning
Feel the sun shining for your eyes
Wake up, it's so beautiful
For what could be the very last time
25, don't recall a time I felt this alive
So wake up Boo
There's so many things for us to do
It's early so take your time
Don't let me rush you please
I know I was up all night
I can do anything, anything, anything
Wake up, it's a beautiful morning
Feel the sun shining for your eyes
Wake up, it's so beautiful
For what could be the very last time
But you can't blame me
For the death of summer
But you can't blame me
For the death of summer
But you're going to say
What you want to say
You have to put the death in everything
Wake up, it's a beautiful morning
Feel the sun shining for your eyes
Wake up, it's so beautiful
For what could be the very last time

Thank God I have a really good wake-up playlist. I finished my essay at 2:45 last night. I don't usually go to bed much earlier than that, true, but still. Will better bring pastries this time.

More Pictures

2006-10-24T13:52:00.000-04:00

October

Sometimes when I am procrastinating because I can't look at Nazi love letters any more I take pictures and then I upload them. Enjoy.

Apples to Apples

2006-10-23T16:06:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted a picture recently, so here is something lovely for you to gaze at.

We were playing Apples to Apples, and this is one of three moments:
-I put down "Helen Keller" for "hilarious"
-I put down "Blitzkrieg" for "speedy"
-Jack and I put down "going to the gym" and "lifting weights" for the same word (I don't remember what word it is) and expected Katie to choose between them.

In other news, I voted today (absentee), and I even voted for the Independent Green party candidate for the House! Wheeeee third parties! Now, the only thing I know about this guy (Albert Burckard) is that he really, really likes trains. I also like trains an awful lot, and I know that my other option, Randy Forbes, is the kind of person that I do not agree with on a single issue (maybe the weather maybe?) and so my choice was clear.

Now I shall return to reading Nazi love letters because I have an essay to write!

My brain platzt gleich

2006-10-21T16:09:00.000-04:00

So I'm taking a break from reading and reading and reading to tell you about my life. As you may have gathered from my silence, I have been very busy this fine October. I suppose I haven't updated you since Fall Break began? Well, that was a restful weekend, in which I travelled to the land of Longyidow to meet many of Katie's family and friends, Longyidow being only three-quarters of an hour's drive from here. Classes resumed that Wednesday, and Jack returned in the evening to find that Katie and I had covered his room in pennies, which deeply aggravated his OCD and gave Katie and myself a hearty laugh. By this time, Katie and I had determined that we should be celebrating GLBT history month by dressing up, after a coincidence in which we each dressed as San Francisco politicos on Harvey Milk day. Lupe Valdez day brought Texas sheriff's badges, David Griffen day saw me as David and Katie as secret lover Keanu Reeves, Barney Frank day saw more political outfits and ushered in Family and Friends Weekend, in which parents descend upon our humble campus in droves and do such things as sit in on classroom discussions and create excuses for Ralph to host meals in RCC. Saturday (Barbara Gittings day) included a panic on our part when SAGA closed early and we could find no food, but then we found a great Ralph-lunch in the gym and we had mediocre but free sammiches and did not die. That night, Katie's parents came up for dinner with Ken Burns, but a famous Negro Leagues baseball player whose name I have forgotten died that week and Ken was called away to deliver his eulogy and thus sent his ex-wife in his stead. We still had a most delicious dinner and screened a portion of Ken's upcoming documentary The War (about world war ii), and I promise that it will be so incredibly powerful and when it finally premieres Katie and I will camp out in front of PBS for the entire 7-night, 14-hour series. Sunday was Phill Wilson officially but inofficially Goetz Otto, aka German Man from German movie der Untergang, which we watched Friday night. Yes, every man in der Untergang was German, but none was quite so Germanic as German Man, and we fell almost as in love with him as with Bald Man (Bald Men, of course, possessing incredible charisma and causing all who encounter them to fall madly in love. Whenever we see a Bald Man, Katie and Jack and I become incredibly excited). In honor of German Man, I did not go to German Breakfast, mostly because I was sleepy (I have found out since that Family and Friends Weekend events caused German Breakfast to be cancelled for the week, so I feel better). Monday was The Birthday Of Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde, for which we all dressed up and went to Northhampton, where large crowds followed us and sang our praises. We went to Webs America's Yarn Store, which is the best store ever, and I bought yarn to knit Jack a scarf so he does not freeze. We bought other various things of varying degrees of importance, and returned to campus just in time for me to go to Spanish (for the first time in 2 and a half weeks) where I determined that my Spanish class does very little when I skip it. We spent the evening making an Oscar Wilde Birthday Day mix, which is a beautiful collection of Jack and Katie and I's favorite gay songs. Tuesday was Tim Gill Day, aka Kari does her Yiddish project day, aka Worst Day of Jack's Life. I got up early and got some books from the Hampshire library for my project (on Queer Yiddishkeit), grabbed some lunch with Katie and Jack, and grabbed a bus to Mt Holyoke with Jack (who has Spanish there) to get some more books. It began to rain as we arrived, and continued to rain as I left 45 minutes later. Once home, I began reading and Jack called me in his break between class and TA session, and Katie got out of class, and I kept reading. We waited for Jack, who called us to let us know he had missed 2 buses due to getting the schedule mixed up and that he had already eaten. I read him the schedule and Katie and I went to dinner, during which Jack missed another bus by watching it pull up, not realizing it was his bus while it sat in front of him for 5 minutes, then realizing as it pulled away. Deeply upset at his own stupidity, Jack proceeded to wait in the rain for the next bus that never came. Taking immense pity on him, Katie and I convinced the ever-saintly Madelaine to use her powers of Automobile to drive us to Mt Holyoke to pick poor drenched cold Jack up since buses obviously hate him. All other plans for the evening thus ruined, Katie and I determined that we should do laundry, which we did while reading for WWII class. After an exciting laundry session, the three of us had the best idea ever and decided to create Sims of ourselves and our respective significant others, all of whom turned out to be eerily accurate. Highlights: Jack Sim got food poisoning almost immediately (I have never ever had a Sim with food poisoning before), Katie Sim has the worst insomnia ever (and, ironically, loves to play chess), Kari Sim, when very tired, chooses to nap in Jack's bed rather than her own. We've begun populating the neighborhood with all our favorite people- Oscar and Bosie are already working on love affairs with Jack and Frank, the cast of Velvet Goldmine has moved in across the street, and Ralph and Manfred are planning their first garden party. We have plans for an Artists House featuring Andy Warhol and Friends, and Walt Whitman will certainly show up, and maybe even Bernard Shaw (we have been discovering that my beloved Bernard was totally friends with every single famous person in England ever). Of course, we have real lives too, and had to do things like go to class on Wednesday (which is pretty much all I do all day long Wednesdays) and then Project Runway had its finale (which was overly dramatic and the wrong person won and we are sad) and there was a fire alarm (after a fire drill on Monday morning, by the way) but we perservered. Thursday brought Bayard Rustin Day, aka Communist Day, in which Katie and Jack and I became card-carrying members of the communist party. It was also Heather's birthday and I had to give my Yiddish presentation (it went well) and we had to go to the Smith library to do research for WWWII (Smith has a pretty great library and I have a pile of books, in German, that I have to read and write an essay about by Wednesday). Of course we did nothing productive on Thursday night, because we had Sims to play, after having a giant phone party in which we had very long phoen conversations with someone. I talked to Mary in both German and English and I love that girl so much more than you. Friday brought Jim Kolbe day, aka Log Cabin Republican Day, aka Kari Wears a Top Hat Because People Respect a Top Hat day. We had class and we had lunch with Will and I had more class and Jack left to go have dinner with some lesbians and sleep at their house so Katie and I bought chips and watched The Laramie Project and made our Lord Alfred Bosie Douglas Birthday mix (mainly because we realized that Oscar's mix had too many glaring omissions such as ABBA and David Bowie). And we stayed up forever doing nothing of great import. Today has been quiet- it is Adrienne Rich Day, so we slept in and ate and we have spent our afternoon reading for WWWII because Jack is not home but we have his keys so we can't leave him or he won't get into his room. I think I will call him now and see if he's still alive, and then I suppose it is back to homework. Tomorrow is Ian McKellan Day, aka Lord Alfred Bosie Douglas's Birthday Day, aka a certain duck's birthday. It shall certainly be festive.

Happy Birthday Love!

2006-10-16T10:20:00.000-04:00

Today is Oscar Wilde's birthday (which is a High Holy Day in these parts). I will not tell you how old he is because that would be rude. I will regale you with Oscar Wilde quotes, and promise to sit down and tell you what I've been up to when I get some time soon.

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
I am not young enough to know everything.
One should play fair when one has the winning cards.
When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know it is.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.
It is through art, and through art only, that we can realize our perfection.
Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.
People who count their chickens before they are hatched, act very wisely, because chickens run about so absurdly that it is impossible to count them accurately.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
The truth is rarely pure and never simple.
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
I can resist anything but temptation.
I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train.
When we are happy we are always good, but when we are good we are not always happy.
I sometimes think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing is worth knowing that can be taught.
Between the optimist and the pessimist, the difference is droll. The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist the hole!
A true friend stabs you in the front.